


A Light in the Darkness

by voltagelisa



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Dying Keprals Syndrome, Fear of Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-02-14 13:37:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 35,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2193753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voltagelisa/pseuds/voltagelisa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard has just been brought back by Cerberus. Through his trials to defeat the Collectors his life is turn upside down. He finds out that someone close to him is dying and needs to fight for him and his son.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Omega

Joker sat in the pilot’s chair on the Normandy, waiting for the Commander to board. He smirked as he remembered Jaeger’s face when he saw the new ship. He glanced at the other crew members. They were strangers; all of them employees of Cerberus. He knew Shepard didn’t like being affiliated with Cerberus, but they didn’t have a choice at the moment. There was also one more worry. He knew the first question his Commander would ask when he arrived and he wondered what his reaction to the answer would be.

Joker swiveled his leather seat when he heard the airlock open. A grin spread on his face as Commander Jaeger Shepard walked in. He sat there waiting patiently for the question as Jaeger glanced at the crew members nearby.

“Hey, Shepard,” Joker greeted as Jaeger walked over to him.

“What do you think of her, Joker?” Jaeger asked. He was impressed. He hated to admit it, but Cerberus had spared no expense on this vessel. It was bigger and more advanced than the old Normandy.

“It would be better if….” The pilot began. He didn’t need to finish his complaint. His nemesis, EDI, picked that moment to pop up and make her presence known.

“An AI. Well this is…interesting,” Jaeger muttered, scowling at the orb. He didn’t trust artificial intelligence units. The Alliance had sent him on too many missions where he was forced to disable a rogue AI for him to trust one with the lives of his crew.

Joker worried how Jaeger would take the news. He had entrusted _them_ to Garrus and him. They hadn’t failed, but their charges weren’t where they were supposed to be. He knew Jaeger wouldn’t care what happened to the woman. There was no relationship between them; he had simply hired her to look after the boy.

“Where are we headed, Shepard?” Joker asked, looking at him expectantly; waiting for the one question he had been dreading.

“It depends. Where is he, Joker?” Shepard asked quietly. Worry lit his eyes.

“Omega. They couldn’t afford to live on the Citadel anymore. Once the media found out that you had a son they wouldn’t leave them alone. Garrus and I transported them to Omega,” Joker answered.

“Omega? Are you insane?” Jaeger nearly shouted.

“Don’t worry. Archangel is protecting them,” Joker winked. Jaeger stopped glaring at him and tried to read between the lines of his cryptic statement.

“What does that mean? Who in the hell is Archangel?” Jaeger growled. Joker could hear the clear warning in his voice.

Instead of giving him a straight answer, he passed him two datapads that he had readied for this moment. “Commander, you’ll want to look these over. They are the figures that show what this ship is capable of with me as your pilot,” Joker said pointedly, handing him the electronic devices. Jaeger took them uncertainly.

He glanced at the smaller one, his eyes widening. A slow smile lit his face. “It looks like I have placed my trust in the right pilot if this is what you can do,” he murmured, patting Joker on the shoulder before turning away.

Jaeger’s eyes narrowed as someone cleared their throat, breaking him from his musings. “Commander, we should head to Omega and retrieve Mordin Solis. We will need his expertise to defeat the Collectors,” Miranda stated. She might have asked, but he could see clearly that it was intended as an order. His eyes narrowed as both Miranda and Jacob stood silently before him. Jacob wasn’t pushing his luck, but Miranda was.

“Miranda, you would do well to remember this. The Illusive Man placed me in charge of this ship. We’ll do this my way. If you don’t like that, feel free to exit the ship at any time,” Jaeger bit out, glaring at the woman. He gaze snapped to Jacob. He waited for the soldier to speak up, but nothing ever came.

“Understood, Commander!” Miranda bit out before angrily marching away. Shepard watched her exit and worry slithered through him. He hoped that she wouldn’t be trouble. That was the last thing he needed at the moment.

He turned his attention to Jacob, gazing at him questioningly. “I’ll be in the armory if you need me, Commander,” Jacob stated, before saluting and walking away.

“Joker, get us to Omega as fast as you can,” Shepard ordered.

“Already on it, Shepard,” Joker answered with a smirk.

Jaeger nodded his head absently and headed to the elevator, ignoring everyone along the way. He knew there were more people to meet, but at the moment he couldn’t be bothered. There was too much on his mind. He leaned against one of the walls in the elevator, taking deep, even breaths to calm his racing heart.

He didn’t pay attention to his surroundings as he stepped into his cabin. His focus was on the datapad in his hand. So Archangel was Garrus. He thanked God for that. At least Jarrid was safe. Garrus wouldn’t let any harm come to him.

He turned his focus to the other pad. His eyes softened as he saw pictures of his son. There was one of Joker and Jarrid standing on the Presidium and another of Garrus and Jarrid playing cards in their old apartment. There were also pictures of Jarrid that had been taken over the last two years. The earlier pictures showed him with his bright green scales shimmering in the sun; his large black eyes bright and laughing. God, he missed his son. He flicked through more pictures and noticed the slow changes that had taken place in his son’s appearance. His bright green scales were slowly fading.

He smiled softly as he remembered the first time he’d met the drell.

_Shepard had been in his room onboard his parents’ ship. His mother and father were on a mission. There was a problem on a nearby planet that they needed to check out. He was reading the latest book his father left him. It was all about the Alliance. He wondered when they would return. They had been gone for more than a day. That wasn’t unusual, but he was still concerned._

_His eyes snapped to the door when it opened; widening when he heard the cries of a baby. They didn’t sound like normal cries. The sound was off. “Jaeger, can you look after him for a few minutes?” his mother asked, holding out the infant in her arms._

_“Sure, but where are his parents?” he asked, his eyes narrowing as he looked down at the drell baby._

_“His mother died giving birth to him and his father was already dead,” his mother answered tiredly. “He has no one else on that planet. A few of the people asked us to take him from there.” He glanced at her and saw the sadness in her eyes._

_“What happened?” he asked slowly. He’d never seen his mother look this way after a mission. She was always calm. Some would even call her cold. On this occasion, her eyes were shining bright with unshed tears. Fear and worry slithered through him._

_“Your father didn’t make it back. He was shot down. I have to check on the rest of the crew,” she murmured softly, her voice breaking as the first tear slid down her cheek. Jaeger held the infant securely in his arms as he watched his mother walk away._

_He buried his face in the shoulder of the baby, taking in the musky scent. His cried silently, tears wetting his cheek as he thought of his father and realized that he would never see him again. Quietly he rocked the baby, trying to sooth away his misery. His own tears slowly stopped as the baby’s sobs slowed. With watery eyes he looked down at the bright-green scaled infant. His eyes closed as he slowly relaxed. Jaeger smiled softly as the child started purring. Contentedness filled him as he held the child._

_Jaeger watched the infant in his arms for a while, the pain in his chest lessening. He smiled gently as both of the infant’s eyelids fluttered open. Large black eyes stared up at him, holding him captivated. A sense of peace filled him at the thought that he could bring this child comfort when he’d lost everything. He took a seat on his chair and held the child close. With a soft smile, he lightly touched his scales; learning the differences between them._

_The sounds of the child’s purrs soothed him. He was further calmed by the feel of the child’s cool skin against his cheek. If only for a moment, all thoughts of the pain they’d both endured faded away. The babe wouldn’t remember his mother dying, but Jaeger would never forget the day his father was taken away. At the age of sixteen he had taken comfort in an alien child. It was something he never thought would happen._

_His mother had searched for other family members for the baby drell, but none were found. They didn’t have time to go to travel to the drell or hanar home worlds, so they raised the child. Actually, he had raised the child. He was the only one who could calm the child and the only one the child wanted. For a while that had frustrated him, but he adapted to it quickly._

_While Jarrid was only a few months old, his mother finally contacted the hanar home world. She told Jaeger that they wouldn’t take him. He later found out that she had lied; but by that time Jarrid was already his son. The hanar didn’t push the issue and allowed Jaeger to raise Jarrid as his own, even at his young age._

_Within the first month of Jarrid’s arrival, Jaeger had the doctors onboard the ship alter his hearing so he could hear every sound the baby made. He had his mother’s permission and the doctors didn’t mind. From that point on Jarrid was considered Jaeger’s son, even though he was only a teenager. He wasn’t sure what the rest of the crew thought, but that’s what his mother kept telling him._

_Jarrid lived in Jaeger’s room from the first moment he held him. His mother insured he had everything Jarrid would need to survive. What shocked him most was that no one could calm him; not even his mother. He hadn’t understood it until he’d done some extensive research on his son’s race. He found out that infant drells bonded with their parents._

_By the time Jarrid turned one, Jaeger had exhausted all available reading material on drells. He knew more about them than anyone onboard his mother’s ship. He was pleasantly surprised to hear Jarrid speak his first word, even though it shocked him. Jarrid called him ‘dad’. That was one word he’d never expected. Even though he considered himself to be Jarrid’s father, he never thought the child would say it._

_He heard the crew refer to him as the drell’s father. He knew that was where Jarrid had picked up the name. He never once told the drell to call him dad._

_As he raised his son, he included drell heritage into his upbringing. He made sure his son knew about his religion and his people. He always tried to avoid raising him as a human._

Since that day he had looked after Jarrid. He even had him onboard the old Normandy for a few months while they were chasing after Saren. He didn’t bring him onboard when they had been confined to the Citadel, however, even though his son had begged to be included.

It had been awkward raising a drell while going through Alliance and N7 training. He had his mother look after him for a while, but that hadn’t worked out. So his mother found someone who could look after him. His mother bought them an apartment on the Citadel, where Jarrid lived with his nanny.

Jaeger saw his son as often as he could. He would often be with him for months at a time. Unfortunately, there were times when he would be gone just as long. When he’d lost his team to a thresher maw, he had been gone for six months. It was the longest separation they’d had until the day he died.

                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Jaeger stood in front of Aria, anxious to be on his way. He wanted his son. That would be his first stop, but he needed to know where to look. He prayed that he would find him safe.

He allowed the scan grudgingly as he glared at Aria. “What brings you here?” the asari asked.

“I’m looking for Mordin Solis and Archangel,” Jaeger answered. He could feel the attention of his team on his back. He hated that they watched him so closely.

“You’ll find Mordin Solis in the quarantine zone. He’s helping to fight the disease there. Archangel is another matter. You aren’t the only one looking for him. He’s got all the major gangs on Omega joining forces against him,” Aria told him.

Jaeger felt the hope of finding his son alive diminish. He knew Garrus would never place his son in danger. Now he didn’t know where to look. He sighed heavily in defeat. He’d hoped to keep his son a secret from Cerberus, but now knew that was going to be impossible. “Do you know where I can find Jarrid Shepard? He’s a young drell,” Shepard asked quietly.

“Hmm. I had wondered about that. Why would a young drell have the same last name as the famous Shepard? How did a young drell learn how to shoot better than the average person and fight as well as he does?” Aria asked slyly.

“You’ve already figured it out. He’s my son. Where is he, Aria?” Shepard asked coldly, his eyes narrowing lethally as he stared at her.

Aria thought about toying with him, but the look in his eyes stopped her. She knew that this man could create a lot of problems for her; possibly even kill her. “You’ll find him in the same area as Mordin. I don’t know if he is still alive,” Aria answered quietly. She shifted nervously as Shepard’s eyes flared with rage.

Jaeger gave a quick nod before leaving. “It looks like you get your wish, Miranda. We’ll be going after the salarian first,” he bit out coldly. He fixed her with a deadly stare. “Miranda, now you know that I have a son. If Cerberus finds him and attempts to use him against me, I will take it out of your hide,” Shepard spat.

“We already knew about him, though we didn’t know his location. It wouldn’t have taken much to find him, but we decided to leave him be. It wasn’t worth the risk. We had reports that spoke of what you did to the last person who put your son in danger,” she told him quietly.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Shepard moved quickly through the halls of the quarantine zone. He stopped when he found a batarian civilian lying on the ground, close to death. Quickly he knelt before him, ignoring his belligerent words. He couldn’t blame the batarian for his accusations.

“Where do I find Mordin Solis?” he asked quickly, using medigel on the man.

“He’s at the far end of the sector. He has a clinic there,” the batarian answered, groaning in pain.

“Have you seen a young drell since you’ve been here?” Shepard asked, his voice turning cold.

“He’s locked himself in his apartment. No one can go in,” he answered, pointing to a set of doors nearby. “I wouldn’t try to get in. The kid is a dead shot and he’s not afraid of shooting you.”

Shepard smirked when he heard this. Yep, that would be his son. He moved quickly to the doors and hacked the panel. He walked in slowly, ordering the others to wait outside. “If I were you, I’d leave while you’re still live,” he heard his son say. His voice was deeper than it used to be, but Jaeger would still recognize it anywhere.

“Jarrid, put the gun away,” Jaeger said softly as he moved in the direction of the voice.

Jarrid hesitated. He knew that voice as well as his own. But how could that be? His father was dead. Garrus had told him so. Slowly he rose to his feet, the gun held steadily in his hand as he pointed it at the intruder. He couldn’t take any chances; even if the man sounded like his father and talked to him the same way. His gaze locked with the human standing in front of him and his heart stopped. Jaeger, his father, stood there; his eyes shining brightly in the dim light. Jarrid felt his throat contract and his eyes began to water. “Dad? They told me you died,” Jarrid said softly. He heard the hoarseness in his voice and didn’t care. He had been alone, mourning his father’s passing for two years. For two long years he had prayed to Kalahari to bring his father back to him. Now his father was standing before him alive, and it was almost too much. He couldn’t stop the tears even if he wanted to. He tried to take a step toward his father, but his legs weren’t listening. He knew he was in shock. He felt the gun fall from his limp hand; the sound of the metal as it hit the floor resounding through the room. Neither of the occupants noticed.

“I know. I did die. A ship tore through the old Normandy and I was spaced after saving Joker. Cerberus brought me back and as soon as I could, I came for you,” Shepard spoke softly as he walked over to his son. He felt so unsure of his welcome. He could see his son’s turmoil; see how he was struggling with the situation. Jaeger noticed how much he had grown. His throat was starting to develop red scales. His stripes were darkening to a near forest green. His regular green scales were silvery now; a slight green hue adding color to them. His dark eyes were still large. He was still shorter than him, but not by much. Finally, his shoulders and chest were beginning to fill out.

Jaeger was the first to reach out and lightly touch his son on the shoulder; not wishing to push himself on the boy. He so desperately wanted to hold Jarrid. However, two years was a long time and things had undoubtedly changed. His son might be upset with him. He wouldn’t blame Jarrid if he shunned him.

Jarrid fell into his father’s arms, burying his face in the crook of his shoulder and taking in his familiar scent. The cold hard armor that his father wore dug into his scales, but he didn’t care. Jarrid held his father tightly, not able to let him go. He was here, holding him. Jarrid purred his contentment, a pleased rumble escaping him. He sighed as he felt his father soothingly rub the base of his neck. Jarrid nuzzled his father, showing his immense pleasure at being reunited with him.

Jaeger’s hand swept along the back of his son’s head and down his back. He felt his son nuzzling him. He smiled softly at the show of affection. Drells were so different than humans. They showed their affection differently than human kids did. Nuzzling, touching of cheeks, purring and soft rumblings were commonplace. He could feel the rumbles of pleasure, even if he could no longer hear them. They also needed casual touch from someone with whom they felt safe. Touch for a drell wasn’t as personal as it was for a human. A touch of a hand could mean so many things. The meaning was dependent on the sound they made along with it. Jaeger leaned back and looked down at the top of his son’s head. He moved his son back so he could meet his eyes.

“Did you catch the virus that is sweeping this area?” Jaeger asked urgently.

“I think so. I’ve been coughing more often,” Jarrid muttered, not meeting his eyes. He already knew the true cause of the coughing, but he couldn’t tell his father. Not when he’d just gotten him back.

“Okay. We need to get you out of here. I need you to stay close to me and follow my every order without question,” Jaeger told his son urgently.

Jarrid grinned, rubbing his cheek against his father’s. He chuckled when his father’s whiskers scraped along his scales. He had missed that so much. He backed away slowly, trying not to show how emotional he’d become. However, his father knew him too well to believe the act.

“I’ll behave. I promise, dad,” Jarrid answered softly. He watched his father’s eyes narrow and knew he was shocked to hear the seriousness in his tone. At the moment, he was far too shaken to joke.

“Are you alright?” Jaeger asked him.

“You worry too much,” Jarrid grinned impishly, patting his father’s shoulder.

Jaeger gave him a searching look and shook his head. He knew his son was hiding something. He also knew that the secret was going to upset him; hence the deception. Jarrid always hated upsetting him and Jaeger couldn’t understand why. “You haven’t a changed a bit. Come on,” Jaeger stated, shaking his head at his son as he followed him from the apartment. It dawned on him as they were leaving that Jarrid’s nanny wasn’t around. “Where is Donna, Jarrid?”

“She was killed three weeks ago. A batarian mercenary shot her down when she was coming back from her errands,” he answered. Sadness entered his eyes and his voice choked.

“What the fuck happened to the money I left you?” Jaeger snapped coldly. He hated seeing his son like this. He glanced around the room and scowled. He was barely living above the poverty level.

“Dad, can we talk about that when we are somewhere safer?” Jarrid asked. He really didn’t want to tell his dad what happened. He wanted to wait as long as possible.

“Fine. Let’s go,” Jaeger muttered, giving his son a warning look. There was no way he was dodging this question later.

They left the apartment. Jarrid hesitated when he saw three humans standing there waiting for them. At first he thought they were a danger, but then his father started talking to them. One man was dark skinned, another had a large scar on his face and the last was a female that was glaring at them. “Let’s move out and find Mordin Solis,” he heard his father order.

This was a first for him, seeing his father like this. At the moment he was cold and distant, but there was an air about him that made you hesitate. His face was etched in hard lines that were scary if you didn’t know him. The new red glowing scars were unnerving, but there wasn’t that many of them and they weren’t that pronounced. He wasn’t sure what to make of this change. The father he knew was loving, carefree, and joked a lot. This one was a stranger. Regardless of the differences he felt safe - very safe for the first time in years.

He had never seen his father in action. He had heard the stories - everyone had. But seeing it was very different. His father was honed for fighting and he gave no quarter. He helped the injured and killed all enemies without hesitation. His father taught him how to use a gun as he grew up, but he had been very strict with the rules.

“Dad, Mordin’s office is just around the corner,” Jarrid said, sticking close to him. When his father left their hiding spot to shoot others he stayed low and didn’t follow until he was told it was safe.

“What do you know of him?” Jaeger asked as he took down another merc.

“He’s nice, but when crossed he’ll kill you. He’s also speaks so fast that it’s hard to understand him sometimes,” Jarrid explained and chuckled. He’d only met the salarian a few times.

Jaeger took lead, his son right behind him. It was safe for his son to be close to him. He had just cleared this area out and they had a clear path to Mordin’s clinic. He glanced behind him to see how the others were doing. Jacob was covering his son and Zaeed was covering all their backs. Miranda was keeping watch, though he didn’t know how capable she truly was. It didn’t really matter with the mercenary covering their backs. He moved forward, feeling his son’s body near his own. Pride swept through him. His son had followed every order, even hiding before he was told to. He never once questioned anything Jaeger did. He wondered what his son thought of him now that he had seen him in battle.

They entered Mordin’s medical facilities. Jarrid stayed close to his father, looking around nervously. Jaeger wanted to reassure his son, but knew he couldn’t do that. Not with so many unknowns. Jarrid glanced around him as his father moved away to talk with some people. He wasn’t sure how safe he was here, but he didn’t think anything would happen. These people were too sick to cause any problems. He tried to stay near his father, but that wasn’t easy. He was moving around the packed room, talking with everyone. So Jarrid stayed near the humans that had fought alongside his father. He hoped that they were safe since he had no way of protecting himself against them. He wasn’t sure about the woman. She kept glaring at him. The man with the scar had danger written all over him. Jarrid wasn’t sure what to make of the dark skinned man. He was quiet, but he didn’t give off a presence of danger.

Jarrid stiffened when he felt someone near him. He could smell the sickness from the batarian; it burned his nose. “What are you doing here, drell?” the batarian said, glaring at him. He hated this race. They kept slaves. They tried to acquire him once, but their attempt ended rather badly. Garrus had shot them. Garrus was the only reason he was still living at that place. If it wasn’t for Garrus, he would have been sold into slavery or raped. It seemed many races found drells exotic. He was extremely tempting to others, even though he was young.

Jarrid was about to answer, but didn’t have a chance. “If you know what’s good for you, I’d beat it,” the scarred man growled, pointing his gun at the batarian.

He watched fear enter the batarian’s eyes before he scurried away. Jarrid looked at the scarred man warily. “Don’t worry, kid, nothing is going to harm you. I’ve seen your father in action and don’t want him pissed at me,” Zaeed muttered, watching the kid closely. He had been shocked to see the drell exiting the building with Shepard. He had been even more shocked when the kid called him father. He noticed how protective Shepard was of the kid and didn’t want to be accused of not protecting him when he needed it.

                                                                                ~ooooo~

“Where do we find Mordin?” Jaeger asked one of the nurses.

“He’s in the back,” the nurse answered with an inviting smile. Jaeger smirked, leaning nonchalantly against the desk. He felt his stomach turn at the woman’s suggestive look, but he played along.

Shepard walked in the direction the nurse had indicated. His eyes widened as he watched the salarian muttering to himself, doing calculations. “Mordin Solis?” Jaeger asked.

“Yes. You are not mercenaries or civilians. Too well armed for both. Who do you work for? Not Alliance, armor too advanced. Another organization, one with money. Cerberus maybe, or the Council, though doubtful. Only one human Spectre, dead now,” Mordin rattled off. Jaeger was getting a headache from listening to him.

“Slow down. You don’t need to do the guessing game. I’m Commander Shepard and I’m with Cerberus at the moment. We are trying to stop the Collectors from abducting more human colonies. I came to recruit you to help us,” Jaeger cut in before the salarian could utter another word.

“No, can’t leave. Must get the cure out,” Mordin muttered, shaking his head as he turned back to his findings.

Jaeger was about to offer his services, but stopped when he heard Jarrid cough. He didn’t need to say a word. Mordin moved quickly to his son, scanning him. “Has the virus,” Mordin muttered. Mordin was about to inject him with the cure, but didn’t get the chance. The young drell moved quickly to stand beside Shepard.

“Jarrid, he’s giving you the cure,” Shepard told the drell. He watched Shepard place his hand on the young drell’s shoulder. He had noticed earlier that the boy had been nervous. His body language showed his uncertainty and agitation, but Mordin didn’t think anything of it. He watched carefully as the young drell relaxed and started purring. “Let him give you the injection.”

Mordin smirked as Jarrid move toward him without hesitation. He give him the cure quickly and then backed away. He had noticed the warning in Shepard’s eyes as he touched Jarrid. He wasn’t sure what the relationship was between them, but he was surprised to see a drell show someone that wasn’t a parent this amount of respect. He was also surprised to see a human behaving this protective of someone from another race.

“If we get the cure out to the public, will you come with me?” Shepard asked as Jarrid stood by his side once more. He could feel the vibrations from his son, but couldn’t hear the noise. He didn’t know if he was agitated or not. It seemed that Cerberus didn’t give him the implant that altered his hearing for the lower levels. He would have to rectify that as soon as possible.

“If cure goes through ventilation system, then the ward will have the cure. Won’t be as dangerous,” Mordin stated.

“Fine. We’ll put it through the ventilation system, but Jarrid is staying here with you. Nothing better happen to him while he is here!” Shepard growled, taking a threatening step toward the salarian; making his point loud and clear. Mordin could see his death in Shepard’s eyes and knew then that the drell meant more than he first figured.

“No harm will come to him,” Mordin swore, placing a hand over his chest.

“Dad, I want to come with you. I don’t want to stay here,” Jarrid stated, his voice coming out as a hiss, showing his displeasure.

“No. If there are problems in the ventilation area I don’t want you there,” Jaeger told him as he placed a hand on his shoulder. “Jarrid, I want you safe. So please, stay here and don’t try to follow me.”

“Alright, but you better not die again. I can’t go through that again,” Jarrid whispered as his voice caught on the lump in his throat.

“I’m not dying anytime soon,” Jaeger muttered, pulling his son into a hug. “Listen to Mordin while I’m gone. He’ll keep you safe.”

“I will,” Jarrid muttered and watched his father leave.

Mordin watched the kid for a moment and looked at his scanners. “He doesn’t know,” Jarrid told him without turning to face him.

Mordin looked at him in surprise before nodding and turning back to his work. He was still getting over the fact that the drell called Shepard ‘father’ and that Shepard treated him like a son. He had never heard of a human raising a drell. He wondered how that worked for them and how long Shepard had been the young man’s caretaker.

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Shepard sat in his room with his son sleeping on his bed. For the first time since waking, he felt relaxed. Mordin had just finished placing the implant in his ear so he could hear the sounds his son made. He could hear a deep fluttering noise from him. Shepard sighed with a small smile. His son was content and that was all that mattered. He just wished he could hear the sounds he had made while in the clinic.

In the morning they were going after Garrus. He couldn’t wait to see the turian again. Then he would have someone he trusted at his back. The people he had right now were good, but he didn’t trust them. He smirked as his son muttered in his sleep. He wasn’t sure where he could place his son on the ship for the short time he would be aboard. Jarrid would need a dry place; somewhere that was very warm. Shepard already set the temperature so that it was warm and dry enough for his son in his cabin.

Jaeger glanced at the messages on his computer. There was nothing important waiting for him and the stress from the day was finally catching up to him. He glanced at the bed one final time. “EDI, make sure I am not disturbed for the next few hours,” he ordered as he stretched out on the couch.

Jarrid opened his eyes and smiled as he watched his father stretch out. He was finally home. For a while he felt that he was losing himself. Everything he knew had been taken away from him. Now things were going back to normal, and he had his father back.

He already knew that his father had to leave in a few hours to collect Garrus. He’d told Jarrid that he had to stay up in this room and not leave it until he returned. He prayed that Garrus was safe. The turian had been there for him since his father’s death.

 

  


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Jarrid woke with his scales itching. It was really starting to annoy him this was day two with this problem. He would go to his father but he just left to retrieve Garrus. He had taken Mordin and Zaeed with him. So he was stuck up in the loft with nothing to do. He couldn’t access the computer, his Omni tool was on the fritz.

Jarrid glanced around noticing the two holo-frames that sat on his father’s desk. He was surprised that Liara was in one of them. As far as he knew his father had never been interested in the asari. The other was a series of pictures of him. Most of them were of the time his father missed, a few had been of the time he was alive. He felt tears prick his eyes as he looked at the times his father missed, times when he had prayed to one of his gods to bring his father back to him. Kalahira had heard him, his father was back, alive. He noticed the differences in his father but that was fine, his personality was still the same way he remembered.

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Jaeger walked towards the bridge separating him from Garrus. He knew it was the perfect place for Garrus to peg him off. He glanced up at one of the windows overlooking the bridge and saw the turian there with his sniper out. Jaeger knew that Garrus could take him out from there but he hadn’t. That gave him a small amount of hope but not enough. “I’ll keep an eye on Garrus, Zaeed you take out these guys,” He didn’t need to see if Zaeed was following his order, he heard the first few shots as he pegged a few shots at Garrus just for good old fun. None of the shots were harmful, but he chuckled when he saw Garrus duck down. He watched as Garrus rose and took quick aim at him and his concussive round hitting him the chest. He knew then that Garrus wouldn’t harm him much.

“Mordin you have lead,” Shepard ordered as he took out three mercs. Zaeed followed suit taking out more. They followed behind Mordin, covering him as they made their way to the stairs. Jaeger took lead, walking towards the locked doors. Zaeed had already taken out the two who had been trying to hack into Garrus’ room. He reached out to touch the door and raised a brow when it unlocked before he could do anything.

Shepard stepped inside, not sure what to expect. He hadn’t seen his friend for two years so he was leery. “Garrus…,” Jaeger whispered as his friend kept his back to him.

Garrus bowed his head when he heard Jaeger’s voice. For months now he had worried about Jarrid. He had promised Shepard that he would look after Jarrid if anything ever happened to him. Then Joker had told him that Shepard was dead. It had been hard from that time on. With looking out for Jarrid, the media and lack of money he took Jarrid to Omege certain that he would be able to protect him there. At first it had been easy, then disaster happened, his team killed, he was betrayed and he had no way of holding his promise. “Shepard, I’m sorry I let you down,” Garrus whispered not able to face him.

Jaeger didn’t bother answering, he walked over to Garrus gripping him on the shoulder, “don’t you dare apologize to me. You looked after him while I was dead. For that I owe you more than I can ever repay. You kept him safe for me,” Jaeger whispered fiercely, before backing away from Garrus giving him the room that he needed.

“When we get out of here, I’ll help you find him,” Garrus told him fiercely.

“When we are through here, you’re coming up to my quarters and we are having a few drinks,” he grinned, “but first we need to find a way out of this shit hole.”  

“You already found him,” Garrus muttered, grinning with relief.

“Yeah, he’s back onboard the ship,” Jaeger smirked, clapping Garrus on the shoulder.

“We should see what they are up to,” Garrus murmured, nodded towards the window. For the first time in months he felt relief. He didn’t accept his death now, nor was he waiting for it. Not since he saw Shepard walked over that bridge. It had been a relief, finally, someone he trusted was here to watch his back, lead him through this mess he made. He had tried to emanate Shepard but he couldn’t do it. He failed miserably.

Garrus passed Jaeger his sniper and watched as he took out one of the mercs. “Well that one down, let’s go introduce ourselves to the others,” Jaeger chuckled darkly.

“And we are supposed to stay up here and what?” Zaeed grumbled.

“Cover my ass,” Jaeger smirked as he sauntered down the stairs.

“Is he nuts, only him against all of them?” Zaeed muttered as he took out his sniper.

“No, he’s trained for this. If you don’t believe me, watch. He’s had Vanguard train during his alliance and N7 training. Trust me, you don’t want to get in his way while he’s down there,” Garrus chuckled as he watched Jaeger take out another merc. He was cutting through them like butter. With the rest of his team up here he had free reign and didn’t have to worry.

“Hey Jaeger, you might want to come on back up here so we can plan,” Garrus told him with a chuckle. They watched as he walked towards the stairs.

“I’ve seen vanguard fight, but none of them were as good as he is,” Zaeed muttered, smirking as the commander walked into the room.

“Think it’s safe to haul our asses out of here yet?” Jaeger asked as he refilled his ammo.

“No, there are still two other groups left,” Garrus sighed, the worry he had been carrying was slowly lifting off his shoulders.

“Fine, then we’ll just….” Shepard trailed off as a loud bang shook the building. “What the hell was that?” he asked in annoyance.

“I think they just grew a brain and are trying to come through the basement,” Garrus murmured thoughtfully.

“Wow, shocking that they can strain their brain that much,” Jaeger muttered sarcastically. “Mordin stay with Garrus, make sure he makes it through the next attack. Zaeed you’re with me.”

Garrus watched the both of them leave and he glanced at the salarian. He smirked, shaking his head in amusement; trust Shepard to save his ass once more.

Jaeger made his way down the stair, “Shepard there are three blast doors that need to be closed,” Garrus stated using the coms.

“Yeah, I see them. You keep focus on the fighting up there, don’t worry about what’s happening down here,” Shepard ordered.

“Zaeed, you have the right side, I’ll take left,” He ordered moving swiftly for the blast doors. The area was swamped with mercs, hiding behind bins and walls. Jaeger caught sight of Zaeed a few times and smirked as he watched him take down more enemies. Jaeger made his way to the panel while Zaeed stood on the other side shooting anything that came near.

“Let’s close those other ones,” Jaeger muttered leading the way to the next door.

“Hey Commander, you might want to hurry things along, they are starting to swarm the area,” Garrus warned.

“Hold them off as long as you can,” Shepard groaned, they had just finished the second area and were now heading for the last area. “Zaeed we need to pick up the pace.”

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

They made it to the main floor to see more people heading for the stairs. Jaeger rushed the stairs as Zaeed covered his back. He needed to get upstairs before Garrus had to contend with the two Krogans on his own. He could hear the gun fire, Garrus’ growls.

“Shepard, I need you in here,” Garrus growled through the com. Jaeger smirked, Garrus hadn’t know he was just at the doorway.

“Garrus, don’t you know it’s bad manner’s starting the party without me,” Jaeger joked as he warped to the closest Krogan.

“Yeah well, these ones are party crashers,” Garrus smirked as he tried to avoid the krogan in front of him. He knew this krogan had high regenerative abilities. He groaned as he fell to the floor when the krogan’s meaty fist connected to his face. Garrus thought for sure he was about to die but he should have figured that Shepard would have his back. Garrus rolled quickly as the Krogan almost toppled on top of him.

“Well Garrus, you keep spouting that you’re so good looking, now you have Krogans falling for you,” Jaeger laughed.

“Laugh it up Shepard,” Garrus muttered, shaking his head.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Shepard stared, his heart racing as ran to Garrus. Below them on the ground the gun ship was smoking and Garrus was bleeding profusely, his face looked ruined. “Come on Garrus, you have to hold on,” Jaeger stated urgently as he lifted his friend’s head so he wasn’t choking on his blood. Jaeger ignored the blue blood he knelt in.

“Sheprad, need you to hold him still,” Mordin ordered as he injected something into Garrus’ neck.

“Do what you have to, to save him,” Jaeger hissed as Garrus jerked in his arms. “Zaeed call for Joker to send the shuttle.”

“Already done Shepard, the shuttle should be here shortly. We need to get him outside,” Zaeed told him urgently.

“Mordin stabilize him so he can be moved,” Shepard ordered coldly.

“He’s able to be moved, but need to do surgery on him soon, loss too much blood already,” Mordin muttered, his eyes widened as Shepard hoisted Garrus over his shoulder. He could see the struggle since the turian was taller than the human. Mordin was surprised that he was able to carry that amount of weight. They moved quickly to the roof, Shepard in the lead, with Mordin right behind him keeping an eye on Garrus’ vitals.

Shepard sighed in relief when they boarded the shuttle, Garrus’ head lay on his lap as they flew to the Normandy. He was very worried for his friend right now. Jarrid’s reaction worried him more, Garrus and him had been close and Garrus had looked after him while he was dead.

                                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Shepard leaned back against the shuttle. He knew he had to go upstairs and tell his son that Garrus might not make it. Now he knew what Garrus felt like, he felt like he had just been kicked in the gut. Garrus was his best friend, and he was about to lose him.

Jaeger sighed and slowly made his way to the elevator and grimaced. He was covered with Garrus’ blood. He couldn’t see Jarrid like this. All this blood would upset him and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

“EDI, can you have someone fetch me some clothes and meet me in the mess hall,” Shepard ordered.

“Kelly will be right there commander,” EDI answered, before logging him out.

Shepard made his way to the mess hall. He noticed that quite a few people were eating their lunch. He noticed Kelly moving towards him with clothes in her hands. “I retrieved these out of the laundry, the drell is still in your room,” She told him.

“Can you do me a favor? Keep an eye on him for a few minutes, he doesn’t know about Garrus and I’ll tell him when I go up to the loft,” Jaeger asked quietly. He hoped that he could trust her. She didn’t have to do much, Jarrid could basically look after himself.

He watched the woman leave for the elevators and he headed for the showers. After he was finished there he wanted to make sure the course to the Citadel was plotted. Then he was going to check on Garrus and see what the doctors said. Hopefully it was good news.

                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Jarrid sat on the couch watching old video from his father’s home world. He found them hilarious, this one was of a guy with knife for fingers that entered a person’s dream, he found the movie - as his father would say - corny.

His attention turned to the doors, he was expecting his father, but that wasn’t who walked in. A young female human with short red hair walked in. She wore a bright smile as she moved into the room. Jarrid watched her warily as she came closer.

“Who are you?” he asked, his voice had an edge of warning to it. The woman couldn’t hear his warning rumble from the looks of it. He found that odd, his father could hear all his sounds, why couldn’t she?

“I’m Kelly, your father asked me to come up here and keep you company,” she answered with a bright smile. She could see the drell was wary as she near, so she took a seat on the chair.

“Where is my father?” he asked coldly. His body was already tense, ready to strike if necessary.

“He’ll be up here in a few moments, he has some things to take of,” she answered calmly. Her bright smile dimmed when it wasn’t soothing the Commander’s son. She still couldn’t believe it that the commander had a son and he was drell. She had to admit that he was good looking, most drells were. But she could still see he was young, the red frills on his neck were still developing. But one thing she did notice was he had that cold glint in his eyes that his father has. He also carried himself with the same confidence that his father carries himself with. He was another Shepard in the making. She smirked at that thought.

Jarrid sat there slightly, he reached behind him grabbing his shirt and slipping it on. He didn’t feel comfortable with this woman here. Especially not with his most recent problem, he wanted his father for that one.

Jarrid decided to fill the silence with some small talk, but the female beat him to it. “So what is it like being raised by a human?” She asked watching him curiously. He could see that she didn’t mean to be insulting but was truly curious.

“My father looked for all the information he could find about drells as I grew up. He tried to make sure that I knew my own culture. Though the drell language I don’t speak very well. He brought me up with their religion and philosophies.” Jarrid answered, waiting for the next question. He was pretty sure this woman was the type that had lots of questions.

“So you were raised with drell and human knowledge?” she asked, her eyes widening in shock.

“I know the human culture, but my father never forced it on me. I was a babe when he started raising me so he had to learn about a race he never knew about,” he answered thoughtfully, purring softly as he calmed. He glanced at Kelly to see if she noticed, but she didn’t seem to. That struck him as odd but he shrugged it off.

“How old are you?” she asked.

“Almost sixteen,” he shrugged. He would have asked her age, but he knew females didn’t like that.

“Where is your mom?” Kelly asked. She was intrigued with this drell. He seemed so calm, but also he seemed not to see what an extraordinary opportunity he has had and that confounded her.

“His mother died giving birth to him. I’ve been looking after him since,” Jaeger answered quietly as he entered the room.

Kelly watched as Jarrid’s eyes lit up and a smile replaced that scowl on his face. She was surprised to see the kid move to his father and give him a hug. If it had been a human teenager they wouldn’t have done that. It would have embarrassed them. Yet here was this young drell rubbing the top of his head against Shepard chin as he hugged him. It was very affectionate moment.

She couldn’t hear any sounds the drell made but it seemed that Shepard could hear them. He chuckled lightly rubbing the base of his son’s neck near his neck. “Um, dad I have a problem that I need help with,” Jarrid muttered.

“Hmm, what is it?” Jaeger asked, watching his son intently.

Jarrid ignored Kelly and took off his shirt, he turned his back to his dad. “Ah, you’re molting. Its normal for your race,” Jaeger told him. He ran his hand lightly along the loose scales, a few of them flaked off while others stayed there stubbornly. “Jump in the shower, make sure your scales are soft before you come out,” Shepard told him.

Kelly watched as Jarrid left without argument. She was amazed by what she was witnessing. Human teenagers, argue, complain, and ignored their parents sometimes. Other times they do listen but that wasn’t a normal.

She didn’t say a word as she left the loft, her mind in wonder at what she just witnessed. She was supposed to report everything to the Illusive Man, but this time she would keep this to herself. He didn’t need to know how close father and son were together. The son had already been through so much, losing his father and then his nanny. Now he was on a ship with his father and she would bet that he didn’t know what was going on. He didn’t know there was a chance he might lose his father once more.

She worried how that would affect their relationship when the kid found out. It was a worry, but not hers. Shepard had better be careful or he might lose his son in the long run.

                                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Shepard watched his son as he absorbed the news about Garrus. He was taking it better than he thought he would. “Can I see him?” Jarrid asked quietly.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Shepard motioned for his son to follow him. He led Jarrid to Dr. Chakwas office. Garrus was laying on one of the bed unconscious. His mandible had been repaired but he would have a nasty scar.

“Is he going to wake?” Jarrid asked, watching Dr. Chakwas closely.

“He will. It may take a few days though,” she answered.

“Good,” Jarrid muttered. He didn’t say a word as he left the room. He didn’t bother waiting for his father as he grabbed a plate of food. His face scrunched up in disgust when he noticed the meat. He glanced at the cook. “Do you have anything for drells?” he asked calmly.

“Yeah, I’ll make you something different,” Gardener told him. He hadn’t been expecting a drell onboard, nor had he expected Shepard being the drells father.

Jarrid took the new plate and food and sighed in relief. This he could eat without problems. He glanced up at his father when he took a seat with him. Jarrid smirked when he saw the mountain of food. His father had placed him on supplements when he was younger since he didn’t always eat the amount he was supposed to. Being a biotic you needed more food than normal.

He ate slowly as he watched his father devour his food and go back for seconds. He wasn’t surprised, he remember when he was younger watching his father, he had been in awe now it amused him. And he couldn’t say much, now his appetite was just as large as his father’s.

“I’ll be down in the cargo hold practicing for a while. If you need anything you can find me there,” Jaeger stated, before walking away.

Jarrid watched his father walk away and went to find that Salarian. He wanted to know if there was anything that could be done. He didn’t want his father to know and have him worry. He had enough to worry about right now without him adding to it.

He found the Salarian on the CIC deck, he also found Joker there too. He would talk to the pilot later, but right now he needed answers.

Mordin glanced up when the doors to his lab opened. His eyes widened when he saw it was the young drell. “Can you scan me once more and find out how far along the Kepral’s Syndrome is?” Jarrid asked calmly. It was something he learnt from his father, to keep his calm even under stressful situation, though lately he hadn’t been using it much. But he had to start using it and making sure that no one else could read his expression.

“Lay down on the bed,” Mordin motioned towards one of the beds. He ran the scan coming up with a more detailed answer, but he would need Shepard’s permission to do a biopsy. That was the only way to know for sure how far the disease had spread. His scans told him Jarrid was just starting the second stage. He hadn’t been taking care of it properly and that worried Mordin. His condition was just starting to become serious. “Do you have medication?” Mordin asked.

“No, I’m out of the pills they gave me on the Citadel,” Jarrid answered. “What does the result say?”

“You’re in the early second stage. How long have you had Kepral’s syndrome?” Mordin asked curiously.

“I was diagnosed a few days after my father died. My care taker at the time preferred cooler temperatures and didn’t take the necessary precautions when it was wet.” Jarrid told him.

Mordin wasn’t sure what to do. He should be informing the Commander right away. But Jarrid wasn’t part of the crew, but Jarrid was his son. Yet he didn’t want Shepard to find out. He would leave it to the drell to notify him.

He went to his cabinets and grabbed a pill container enough for a few months. “Take one of these each day,” Mordin stated passing him the pill bottle. He watched the drell place them in his vest out of sight.

Mordin watched as he left and was still debating on what to do.

Jaeger kicked the bag once more before stopping, he mopped up the sweat from his chest and hair. He knew he had to drop Jarrid off on the Citadel, but he wasn’t sure who to have to watch out for him. Jarrid wasn’t old enough to be on his own, he was not even sixteen yet, in a few more days he would be sixteen but that still wasn’t old enough to live on his own.

He also wondered where all the money he had saved up. It was supposed to go to Jarrid upon his death. It was enough for him to live his life on the Citadel at the apartment his mother had bought for him. But instead he found Jarrid on Omega, not at the apartment where it was safe. After the destruction of the Citadel the council had paid for another apartment for him and his kid. He had saved money doing odd missions that paid good, for doing missions for the council. Yet it hadn’t been enough. He couldn’t understand it.

He made his way to the mess hall to grab a bite to eat. He was surprised to find how late it was. He hadn’t thought he spent that much time working out his frustration, but obviously he had. His eyes widened further as he saw his son sitting at one of the tables alone. He could hear the deep rumbling he was giving off, a sure sign he was agitated.

“What’s bothering you?” Shepard asked, taking a seat across from him.

“Nothing important,” Jarrid muttered, he hated lying to his father. But he didn’t want him to worry, there was nothing he could do.

“Don’t lie to me,” Jaeger growled low, making sure his son could hear the warning in his voice.

“Sorry dad. Its better if you didn’t know,” Jarrid muttered, not meeting his father’s eyes.

“Jarrid I can’t help if you don’t tell me,” Jaeger sighed tiredly. He was surprised his son was shutting him out, it hurt, but he was coming to that age.

“I didn’t want you to find out. I wanted it so that you wouldn’t worry. I have Kepral’s Syndrome, I’m just starting the second stage. I was diagnosed a few days after you died,” Jarrid murmured a tear trailing down his cheek as he watched his father. He could see the fear and horror on his dad’s face. He also saw the fierce determination that entered his eyes. He knew then that his father would stop at nothing until he found a cure.

“Well that answers that. You’re not leaving the ship. I won’t be dropping you off on the Citadel,” Jaeger stated coldly. He narrowed his eyes at his son, “Anything else that you haven’t told me that I should know?” he asked with a pointed look.

“Isn’t that enough,” he answered with a grin, trying to hide his fear, his father already knew that he was afraid but he couldn’t dwell on it. He needed to be strong now, he needed to take after his father more so now than ever. His father knew how to hide his emotions; he knew how to shove things that were bothering him off to the side, now he needed to learn that. He needed to fight like his father did every time he was injured, he couldn’t let this disease defeat him.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Shepard sat at his terminal. His son was asleep on a cot that had been moved up to his room. He was searching the extranet for anything on that cursed disease, but the information he’d found so far didn’t give him much hope.

With an annoyed sigh he rose to his feet. He stretched up on to his toes to ease the pain in his protesting muscles. Four days had passed since his son had given him the news of his disease. In that time they’d made a very productive trip to the Citadel. His Spectre status had been reinstated, he had a new team member and the crew had been informed that his son would be remaining on the ship for a great deal of their mission. What shocked him most was that no one argued with him, not even Miranda. Her quiet acceptance had actually concerned him. He’d expected her to complain the loudest, and now he wondered if the Illusive Man had plans for Jarrid.

He left his room and headed for some food. He smiled when he saw Garrus standing there. “Thought they weren’t releasing you for a few more days,” Jaeger commented as he stood next to his friend.

“I snuck out. Couldn’t take being in there any longer. How are you doing?” Garrus asked, looking at him worriedly.

“Found out a few days ago that Jarrid has Kepral’s Syndrome and it’s already in the second stage. Mordin is monitoring him. We brought on a new crew member from the Citadel and I’m a Spectre again,” he explained to Garrus. A broad grin spread across his face when the turian stood gaping at him in obvious shock.

“How long was I out, a year?” Garrus joked.

“Actually not that long. Though I can understand your disbelief where the Council is concerned,” Jaeger grinned as Garrus chuckled.

“How is Jarrid doing? I never knew he had a disease,” Garrus muttered, running his hand over the back of his neck.

“He’s doing fine for now, but I can’t say how long that will continue. Kepral’s is deadly to drells. They acquire the disease from being exposed to too much moisture. That’s the reason I always kept our house so dry,” Shepard explained.

“So that how he got it. That bitch of a caretaker couldn’t stand the dryness or the heat. I didn’t know your son would suffer from that,” Garrus muttered, sadness in his eyes.

“Don’t blame yourself. You couldn’t have known, unless you’d been told. But Donna knew. I told her everything to watch for. I’m glad she’s dead,” Shepard growled.

Garrus nodded, not sure what to say to that. He was also thrilled that the woman was gone. If Shepard knew half of what had happened, he would have killed her himself - very slowly and with much pain. He decided to change the subject.

“Are you sure it’s safe for us to be dealing with Cerberus?” Garrus asked.

“For the moment we have no choice. They are the only ones who want to take the Collector threat seriously. Plus they did bring me back to life. Even that doesn’t excuse the shit I have to put up with, however,” Jaeger mocked with a smirk.

“Yeah, but we took out a lot of their facilities. So is it safe to be with them? They might be holding a grudge and using these Collector attacks as an excuse to get you under their thumb. Are you sure they aren’t the ones working with the Collectors, instead of the Reapers?” Garrus asked quietly, watching Shepard’s expression closely.

“That’s crossed my mind a million times. No, I don’t trust them, but I know the Reapers are involved. When you come on a mission with me that involves the Collectors, you’ll know it, too,” Jaeger stated with certainty.

“Just be careful, Shepard. You know what Cerberus is like,” Garrus muttered.

“I know and that’s why I’m glad that you’re here, watching my back. Jarrid is staying on the ship for as long as it’s safe. I don’t want him out of my sight now that I know about the Kepral’s, just in case,” Jaeger told him softly.

“I’ll be in the main battery if he needs me, or you do. And, Shepard, you should get some sleep. You look like shit,” Garrus commented, grinning.

“You don’t look any better,” Jaeger muttered, slapping him on the shoulder as he left.

                                                                                ~ooooooo~

Shepard sat back in his chair, watching his son over the top of his monitor. He was stretched out on the couch, watching a movie that was boring him. Jaeger tried to hide his chuckle as his son growled once more. They had found a drell movie on the extranet and his son had really wanted to see it. Jaeger had opted to do paperwork instead of watching a movie.

Jaeger glanced down at the final dossier the Illusive Man had given him. It was for a convicted criminal named Jack. They’d retrieved Okeer’s prodigy and he was securely tucked in the cargo hold; still in his tank. Shepard planned on letting him out, but he needed to concentrate on the biotic first. They would arrive at the prison by morning and he couldn’t wait. Once he had her, he needed to go mining for materials. The ship needed several upgrades if they hoped to defeat the Collectors, and they needed resources for that. After he was done collecting his crew, he would have to start training them to fight as a unit. Once he thought they were ready, they would go through the Omega IV relay and face the Collectors. That was the earliest he could think of dropping Jarrid off at the Citadel. The trip through the relay would be far too dangerous for him.

He glanced over his shoulder as the doors to his cabin opened. He grinned as Garrus walked in with a coffee cup and a bottle of some unknown liquid. “Thought you would want this. It’s the last cup,” Garrus said, placing the mug in front of him before heading to the couch to join Jarrid. He watched them for a few moments, feeling relieved that his son wasn’t going to be alone while he worked.

He sipped the coffee, ignoring the laughter that drifted over from the couch. He was studying a layout of the prison facility. It was a precautionary measure, in case things didn’t go as planned. It was something he’d learnt to do while chasing after Saren. Too many missions hadn’t gone the way he wanted, so now he always memorized the schematics of any building he was entering. That way he could plan for several different situations.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there going over the schematic, but things had grown silent on the couch. Garrus was stretched out sleeping and Jarrid was sprawled out on his cot. Jaeger rubbed his eyes tiredly and trudged to his bed. He barely hit the pillow before he was sleeping.

_“Joker, we need to leave now!” he yelled to be heard over the noise of the burning ship._

_“No, I can’t leave the Normandy! I can still save her,” Joker cried out desperately._

_“The Normandy is gone! Don’t go down with her,” Jaeger stated, trying to keep the panic out of his voice._

_“Fine…” the pilot finally replied. He heard the defeat in Joker’s voice and felt his pain. The Normandy had been home to this crew for a year and now they were losing her to an unknown shit with superior fire power._

_He half dragged and carried Joker to the escape pod. He was about to enter, but a blast made him lose his balance. He gripped tightly to the side to pull himself in, but his grip faltered. He knew he wasn’t going to make it. He glanced over his shoulder to see the ship coming around for another attack._

_“Joker, tell Jarrid that I love him,” Jaeger said before hitting the panel that would eject the capsule into space, safely away from the destroyed ship. He had heard Joker scream “no” just before the doors closed, but this was for the best. He had done his job as commander and saved everyone he could._

_The blast shot him into space, and he watched the debris float by. His mind was at peace, knowing his son would be cared for. He knew Garrus and Joker wouldn’t let him down. He took another deep breath, waiting for either death or salvation; but that breath was a struggle. His oxygen container had been damaged. He had no air._

_His lungs burned…_

_His body screamed…_

_His eyes watered as flashes of Jarrid came to him…_

_Goodbye, son…_

_He fell, gravity pulling him toward the planet below. Fire surrounded him and he screamed with the last of his air. He burned…then nothing._

Jaeger woke with a scream, his body soaked with sweat. Two pairs of eyes were watching him worriedly. “Shepard?” Garrus asked nervously.

“I’m fine, I’m alright,” he whispered breathlessly.

He glanced at his son and took the glass of water that he held in his hand. “Was it about the thresher maw again?” Jarrid asked. His voice was calm, but Shepard could hear the concern in it.

“No, it was a flashback to the destruction of the Normandy; my journey from the ship to the planet’s atmosphere,” he muttered.

“The Alliance believed that you died in space,” Garrus told him.

“No, I didn’t die there,” Jaeger murmured softly, reliving those final moments - the pain, the fear and sorrow he had felt. Then after that was peace, like nothing he’d imagined. He remembered that he felt peace for a while. He had no images to go with that feeling, but he knew it. Then he had been ripped away from that peace.

“Don’t worry, guys, I’ll be fine in a few minutes,” Shepard told them with a shaky laugh. He slowly rose to his feet and headed for the shower, ignoring the two worried men watching him.

“Garrus, do you think my dad will be fine?” Jarrid asked.

“If it was anyone else I would say I’m not sure. However, if your father said that he’s going to fine, I believe him. He may have nightmares for a while, but he won’t let them defeat him. Your father is a fighter,” Garrus murmured. He placed a hand on Jarrid’s shoulder, trying to reassure him.

                                                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Jaeger kept alert as he followed Warden Kuril through the prison. He didn’t like it. The odds of betrayal were just too high. The Blue Suns ran the facility and that didn’t sit well with him. He watched as Kuril left them, heading to let Jack out of cryo-freeze. “What do you think, Commander?” Garrus asked.

“Keep alert. Something is not right and I don’t like it,” he muttered, scowling as they came across a prisoner being beaten. Jaeger stepped in. He wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if he didn’t. Thankfully it didn’t take much to stop the abuse.

“Can’t wait to get Jack and get the hell out of here. I can’t believe the Council is turning a blind eye to this,” Garrus muttered.

“Garrus, we are in the Terminus system. The Council doesn’t give a shit. It’s out of their jurisdiction. It makes this facility the perfect place for slavery and whatever else Kuril decides to do. He can carry on here without drawing attention,” Jaeger explained.

“They do have to watch for other gangs taking over or cutting into their profits. They have their own problems here, and most are a lot more serious than anything the fucking Council could ever throw at them,” Zaeed stated, giving Jaeger a defiant look.

Jaeger didn’t say a word, especially not what he wanted to say. He glanced at Garrus and saw him narrowing his eyes at Zaeed, but the turian said nothing. They made their way to ‘Out Processing’. Jaeger knew as soon as he made his way into the room that it was a trap. Everything screamed ‘trap’. “Be ready, guys, we are about to be betrayed,” Jaeger ordered, pulling his gun. No sooner had he spoken then he heard Kuril on the intercom.

Jaeger took lead as soon as they shot down the squad that had entered the room to detain them. He covered Garrus and Zaeed as they found a place to take cover in the hall. He cringed as his shields dwindled.

“Jaeger, take cover,” Garrus snapped, watching as his commander took more damage to his shields. He knew what the commander was doing. He was protecting them, giving them time to get into cover; but Garrus had a hard time seeing his friend under attack. It made him worry that he was going to lose him again.

Jaeger glanced behind him when the last enemy fell. He sent a reassuring smile to Garrus. “Don’t worry. It takes a lot more than that to take me down,” Jaeger told him.

Garrus watched him for a few moments, and he knew what Jaeger said was true. He had to accept that Jaeger knew what he was doing, so he nodded his head slowly in acceptance.

They walked into the control room and Jaeger moved over to the control panel. They watched as Jack was set free. “Jack is a female?” Jaeger muttered, shocked.

“Shit! Those mechs will kill her,” Zaeed grumbled just before they raced for the lower area. They all stopped dead when they entered the room, their eyes widening. “I guess she really wants off this shit hole,” Jaeger joked. Jack had nearly destroyed the entire room. Shepard gave a low whistle, impressed with her power.

“You could say that,” Jaeger smirked as he walked over to the hole she had created as a makeshift exit. They followed her path of destruction, having to stop to clear out one large room before they met up with Warden Kuril.

“Spirits, this guy is a pain,” Garrus growled in frustration.

“I hear you on that one, Garrus,” Jaeger grumbled, taking out another energy module that helped power Kuril’s shields. “Must be a turian thing,” he added, grinning at Garrus.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if there was human in him somewhere,” Garrus taunted back.

                                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Jaeger walked with their newest recruit onto the ship. He wasn’t sure what to make of her. She was a strong biotic, but she was very distrustful; particularly when it came to Cerberus. He didn’t blame her there; he didn’t trust Cerberus, either. The ground crew watched her as they stood in decontamination. He was waiting for her to ask more questions about the mission they’d recruited her for, but she remained stoically silent. They watched as she made her way to the bowels of the ship.

“So what do you think?” he asked them.

“She’s one of a kind,” Zaeed muttered.

“You’re right there, though I am not sure if I trust her. There’s a good chance one morning I’m going to wake up and find my ship elsewhere; with her in control,” Jaeger muttered with a shake of his head.

“You don’t seem too torn up about that thought,” Garrus commented with amusement.

“Are you kidding? I would finally get a break,” Jaeger laughed.

“You have a point there. You should think about giving shore leave soon,” Garrus muttered.

“I’m planning on it, though I’m not sure when or where as of yet,” Shepard sighed. Shore leave sounded really good now. A few drinks, sitting back to relax with loud music surrounding him. Somewhere he could forget this mission for just a few minutes. It would be heaven.

“Shepard, your favorite person wants to talk to you,” Joker muttered.

“Damn. So much for the thought of shore leave,” he scowled. “Put him through. I’ll be there in a second.”

Garrus watched Jaeger storm off. He could see his frustration and knew that the mission was getting to him. He wasn’t sure what he could do to help his friend. At the moment he had more on his shoulders than anyone should have to face alone. His son was dying of a disease for which there was no cure, he had to save humanity from mass destruction _again_ ; and last but not least, he had to get his crew in top shape for this mission. Shepard didn’t have an easy road before him. Garrus was surprised that he hadn’t broken yet.

Joker grinned as he motioned Garrus to move closer. He pressed a button on the panel and turned the volume down so it was only the two of them listening. They chuckled as they listened to Jaeger insult the Illusive Man. Their eyes widened as they heard the Illusive Man make demands. They waited for the explosion and weren’t disappointed. Joker chuckled. He knew Jaeger was pissed.

“Joker, cut this fucking channel!” Jaeger ordered coldly through the com.

“Channel cut, Commander,” Joker retorted. “So do I take us to Horizon?”

“Unfortunately. If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the cargo bay working off some anger,” Jaeger growled, his anger at an all-time high.

“Understood. What about the krogan waiting for you there?” Joker asked nervously.

“Shit! Have Garrus meet me in the cargo hold,” Shepard muttered, before cutting the communication.

“Twenty says he gets you to help him space the krogan,” Joker grinned.

“You’re on. Twenty says that we are letting the krogan loose,” Garrus groaned. He already knew that was Jaeger’s plan. He just hoped it wasn’t going to be a mistake.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Jarrid roamed around the ship. He’d already met a woman covered in tattoos with a huge attitude problem. She was one person he was going to avoid from now on. He already talked with Zaeed for a few minutes, listening to his war stories. They were almost as interesting as his father’s. The only difference was that his father didn’t boast of what he did. Zaeed did. Jarrid didn’t mind. It kept him entertained for a while.

He moved toward the other cargo hold, his curiosity piqued as he moved closer. He could hear his father’s voice and another voice that he didn’t recognize. He moved closer to the doorway and slipped in. The krogan they’d rescued had his father pinned against the wall. His father didn’t look bothered by it at all.

“Dad,” Jarrid called nervously. He saw Garrus move toward him, but what happened next took him completely by surprise. The krogan that had his dad pinned moved toward him. He wasn’t charging, but Jarrid knew he couldn’t take a krogan.

He thought for sure that no one would get to him in time. Jarrid’s eyes widened as his father pinned the krogan, his hand glowing brightly with biotic energy. The krogan was making groaning sounds as his father’s hand disappeared into his stomach.

“Never harm the drell! Understood?” his father’s voice boomed out.

“Yeah, I hear you,” the krogan muttered. The fight was gone from his voice at once.

“Get yourself to Dr. Chakwas and have her look at the wound. But be warned. Harm anyone on this ship and this will be nothing compared to what I will do to you,” his father growled.

Jarrid swallowed hard. His dad’s voice was cold and hard, and it was something that he had never heard before. He was looking at his father, but he saw a person that he never met before. He hoped that look was never turned his way. He now understood why people feared and respected his father. His father would do what was necessary to make sure his commands were obeyed. If that meant threatening a teammate, then he would do it. Jarrid was seeing a side of his father that he’d never before had a chance to see. It helped him understand his father better.

“Jarrid, leave,” Shepard ordered. Jarrid didn’t question. He rushed to the elevator, pressing the pad for the mess hall. He would wait for his father there. He wasn’t afraid of his father, but at the moment his father was commander and his orders were to be obeyed without question.

                                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Shepard spent a few hours down in the cargo hold sparring with Garrus. He had forgotten how good the turian was and sported more than a few bruises. Garrus wasn’t doing much better. He was holding his side and he limped slightly as they made their way to the elevator.

“Do you think the krogan will be a problem?” Garrus asked.

“What do you think?” Jaeger snorted with amusement.

“Jaeger, I’ve seen you fight so I know what you are capable of. He doesn’t, so he might not believe your threat,” Garrus reminded him.

“He may not have seen me fight, but he felt my hand inside his stomach,” Shepard stated pointedly.

“You did have your hand in him?” Garrus asked, astonished. He had thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. “No, I don’t think he’ll step out of line.”

Shepard chuckled, patting Garrus on the shoulder before stepping out of the elevator. They both grabbed a plate of food and took a seat. Shepard was shocked to see his son in the mess hall instead of their quarters. “Did Mordin have any results from your last exam?” he asked.

“He said it’s about the same; but since I’ve reached the second stage, the disease could start affecting my organs,” Jarrid whispered so quietly that Jaeger barely heard him. “He wants to do a biopsy, but he needs your permission. He said he needs to talk with you as soon as you have a chance.”

“And you’re just telling me this now?” Shepard snapped, his anger rising. He wanted his son well and Jarrid was still keeping things from him. He didn’t cave when he heard the high pitched noise come from his son, showing his panic. Nor did he reassure him. He couldn’t at the moment. “Let’s go,” he ordered, leading his son to Mordin’s.

He was glad the salarian was awake most of the time. “Mordin, I was just told that you wished to see me,” Shepard stated brusquely.

“Yes. Need to do a biopsy on Jarrid’s lungs and need your permission. Also wish your permission to start finding a cure while finding ways to disable the Collectors,” Mordin quickly explained.

“Will you have time to find a cure?” Jaeger asked. He tried not to let his hope show, but he knew he had failed.

“Will have time, but may not find cure,” Mordin warned him. He didn’t want the commander to raise his hopes too high.

“Understood. You have my permission,” Jaeger stated. “As for the biopsy, you may do it at your convenience.”

“Can do it now, but will need you to hold him still. Biopsy painful,” Mordin warned him.

Shepard nodded and looked at his son pointedly. He watched Jarrid move sullenly toward the bed. “Mordin, are there any cures for it right now?” he asked.

“Only cure is lung transplant. Can put your son on the list,” Mordin offered.

“Do it. Hopefully you’ll find a true cure. But I don’t want anyone dying for him to have a lung,” Jaeger warned. He looked at his son worriedly. He could see that he was in pain as the long needle entered his side. He held his son to him so he wouldn’t move. He knew any movement could cause damage and there was enough damage to his lungs already. He didn’t need more.

“Will give you the results once finished testing the samples,” Mordin said. He nodded his head. Jarrid took it as dismissal and left without a word.

“Mordin, what do you know about drells?” Shepard asked.

“In what area?” Mordin asked, looking at Shepard curiously.

“Puberty for drells,” Shepard asked hopefully.

“Not much knowledge on that, nor much written information. Very personal thing for drells. Need to speak to another drell,” Mordin answered. To be honest, he was interested in learning more, himself. It was one area that he was never able to find information on when studying other races. Turian puberty was also a mystery. He hoped that Shepard would share his findings.

“Thanks, anyway,” Jaeger muttered, leaving the professor to his studies.

                                                                                               ~oooooooo~

Shepard walked into his cabin to find his son trying to fake sleep. “Jarrid, I know you’re awake. We need to talk,” Jaeger stated bluntly.

Jarrid sat up in his bed and avoided his father’s eyes. “Do you want to explain why you didn’t tell me about the biopsy or that Mordin wanted to see me?” he asked harshly.

“Dad, you have enough going on. You shouldn’t have to worry about me, also. We both know there are no cures. We both know that I’m living on borrowed time right now. I didn’t want what time I have left to be filled with tests and biopsies,” Jarrid muttered. He couldn’t stop the high pitch sound he was making. Nor could he stop the tears that were strolling down his cheeks.

“Dammit, Jarrid,” Shepard sighed, moving to his son’s side. He placed a hand on his shoulder. “Jarrid, you are the most important in my life. Anything happening to you overrides anything else going in my life. I need to know these things. I can’t help you if you withhold important information from me,” Jaeger sighed. He ran his hand down Jarrid’s back, trying to sooth him. Slowly the high pitched noise began to die down.

“Sometimes I wish I was human. You’ll never catch this disease. You don’t have to worry about being in too much moisture,” Jarrid muttered, leaning his head on his father’s shoulder.

Shepard looked down at his son’s head and noticed that the red area was growing. It now covered part of his throat. He could tell it was still developing. Curious, he lightly brushed his finger against the new area. He felt his son shiver and purr.

“Dad, leave that area alone,” Jarrid hissed as he felt the area burn. When his father touched it, his body had an entirely different reaction - one he didn’t want again with his father.

“Yeah, no problem. Do you know what’s happening?” he asked.

“Not sure, but when you touched it….” he trailed off, not sure how to tell his father what he felt.

“Yeah, okay, I get the point,” Jarrid muttered. “As a warning, I know nothing of this stage in your life. I don’t know what changes you’ll be going through. So I won’t be able to help you much,” he said softly.

Jarrid trilled loudly as fear ran through him. _His father didn’t know what was happening and he had no one to help him._ That scared him more than anything. His father always had the answer to everything.

“Relax, Jarrid, we’ll work through it somehow,” Jaeger tried to reassure him.

“There have been a lot of changes. The top of my head, near my ridges, is more sensitive. The area on my chin and neck is very sensitive. Plus there was the molting and a few other changes that are awkward to talk about,” Jarrid muttered. “I also have the same red markings developing down my front.”

“Well, I’m fairly sure that the more personal changes are equal to what human teenagers experience. So that’s natural. As for molting, that is normal for you. You’ll be doing that a few times until you are an adult. Then it will slow down. As for the top of your head, you’ve always been sensitive there. Certain spots always calmed you faster than normal, while other spots did nothing. It worked the best when you were a baby. As you grew older it was the back of your neck that calmed you faster, and that still works today. I’m not sure what the red areas are, but all adult drell have them. If we judge the color by other drells, you still have some developing to do there,” he told his son softly as Jarrid slowly relaxed. The high trill faded into a deep purr.

“Dad, do you think Mordin will find a cure?” Jarrid asked tiredly.

“I don’t know. I hope he does, but I don’t know, Jarrid,” Jaeger sighed tiredly. He wanted so much to say ‘yes, he’ll find a cure’, but he couldn’t lie to his son.

“Will you place my body in the sea?” Jarrid mumbled, half asleep.

Jaeger wrapped an arm around his son’s shoulder and pulled him close. He rested his chin on top of his head and blinked back the tears that threatened to spill forth. “Yeah, I’ll send your body to the seas,” he murmured, his voice rough with emotion. “But that is not going to be for a long while yet,” he vowed fiercely. There was no answer. His son was already deeply asleep.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Jaeger glanced at Garrus while they waited for the shuttle to land on Horizon. The turian didn’t seem upset about the events of the previous evening, which was good. He couldn’t believe the amount of patience Garrus had with Jarrid and his ‘problem’. He thought he knew what was going on, but wasn’t sure how to handle it or what to expect. It was frustrating, to say the least.

“Is Jarrid still upset about last night?” Garrus asked with a light chuckle. He was surprised that Garrus was finding this new predicament amusing. If he had been him in Garrus’ place, he would have been nervous after having been nearly attacked by an alien.

Jaeger shook his head in frustration. His son had become competitive over the past few days and it was getting worse. _Garrus and Jarrid were sitting on the couch playing a card game. Jarrid lost the first round, then the second. After the third he was pissed, to put it mildly. It was the first time he had seen his usually calm son show anger to this degree. What was even odder was that he had to use a harsh voice to break through his son’s irrational anger._

“No, he’s fine now. I still don’t know what set him off or why he acted that way,” Jaeger muttered, shaking his head. This was one of those times he wished he could meet another drell and question them until he had answers regarding every facet of his son’s life.

“Might be able to help. What set him off?” Mordin asked, cutting in on the conversation. He had listened to them and their conversation piqued his interest. Jarrid was of high interest to him. He had been raised by a human and hadn’t lost the instincts that came with his drell heritage. He found that surprising, but it highlighted the way Shepard had raised his son. Unlike some parents who found themselves raising an alien child, he hadn’t tried to make Jarrid more human. Instead, he did a thorough study on drells and incorporated their ways into his son’s life.

“My son was playing a card game with Garrus and lost three rounds. After the last round he lost control of his anger and almost attacked him,” Jaeger told the scientist, hoping he might have an answer.

“Hmm, turian and drell very dominate species; though turians are generally the more aggressive. Jarrid is young. Probably has no control or understanding of his dominant side,” Mordin rambled. Jaeger listened intently and what Mordin stated made sense.

“Commander, we are about to land,” the pilot of the shuttle announced.

“Let’s hope these modifications you made to the armor work, Mordin,” Shepard muttered as they readied their guns.

“They will,” Mordin stated. His voice was filled with certainty as he nodded to Shepard. Jaeger raised a brow and wondered how the scientist could be so certain.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Jaeger hissed as he leaned up against the wall, taking cover once more. Horizon was turning out to be hell. He was really starting to hate the Collectors. They were everywhere. The only colonists they’d located appeared to be locked in some form of stasis field.

He scowled as he heard words that he was beginning to hate. It was yet another possessed Collector. He would place a large wager on the fact that the possession was the work of the Reapers. The worst part of the annoyance was that the afflicted Collectors seem to know him and only wanted him. He was willing to bet that if Garrus and Mordin stopped shooting at them, they would be completely ignored. It was him they wanted. He smirked. He should be afraid, but he wasn’t. He didn’t have time to be.

“Damn, Shepard, what is it about you that they like so much?” Garrus muttered, scowling at the possessed Collector. He moved closer to Shepard in order to provide his commander more protection. He didn’t like this, and didn’t understand why they were so focused on him.

“Killed Sovereign, that’s what I did,” Jaeger muttered. “It’s not the Collectors with this knowledge, it’s the Reapers.” He glanced at Mordin as they moved into the central clearing that housed the gun controls. He motioned to Mordin to start the uplink to EDI while they covered him.

“Spirits, Shepard, you were right. For once Cerberus is actually trying to do something good. Go figure,” Garrus muttered with a stunned look.

“You’re telling me. First they bring me back and then they set me up with a team of different races. They are going all out,” Jaeger murmured thoughtfully.

Garrus was about to answer that comment, but held his tongue as more Collectors swarmed around them. “How much longer before EDI is done?” Garrus hissed as he ducked out of sight. He scowled at the new bullet hole in his shoulder.

“Soon, I hope. Mordin, check the connection. We’ll cover you,” Jaeger ordered quickly.

Mordin moved hesitantly at first; but when he noticed that they could protect him while he was vulnerable, he moved with greater certainty toward the control panel. “Two more minutes, Commander,” Mordin stated and quickly took cover.

“Uh, Shepard, you might want to run,” Garrus warned, covering Jaeger’s back as a new form of Collector entered the fray. This one was flying and had a deadly beam that demolished a few wooden crates near their position. What worried Garrus was that the Collector went straight for Jaeger, ignoring both him and Mordin until they fired upon it. He tried to help his friend, distracting it until Shepard could find a better hiding spot, but it wasn’t easy. This thing had a one track mind.

“Screw this! Mordin, Garrus, keep it occupied for a few seconds,” Jaeger ordered as he pulled the new gun he’d removed from of one of the Collectors off his back. “Take cover!” Without waiting to see if they followed his command, Jaeger jumped up from behind one of the steel crates and fired at his opponent; never letting up on the trigger.

“Damn, what is that?” Garrus asked, taking the gun out of Shepard’s hand once the battle was over. “We should see if we can replicate this and make sure everyone has one. A larger ammo capacity would be good, too,” Garrus murmured thoughtfully.

“I agree. I’ll pass it over to Jacob and see what he can do with it,” Jaeger murmured, taking the gun back from Garrus.

“ _Turret cannons online,”_ EDI announced, her voice interrupting their musings. They watched as the cannons fired at the Collectors’ ship.

“RUN!” Jaeger yelled, shoving Garrus and Mordin ahead of him. The three of them ran for cover as debris from the Collector ship rained down around them.

“You just let them get away with everyone!” a man they’d met earlier cried, a look of betrayal in his eyes.

“I didn’t have a choice. I’m sorry we couldn’t save them, but there was nothing we could do,” Jaeger muttered, shaking his head in frustration. He would have loved to save the colonists, but that wasn’t possible. They weren’t ready to board a Collector ship yet. The odds of capture were high and if they were taken, there would be no one left to fight them. He understood the man’s anger, however, and even sympathized with him.

“Shepard, should I radio for pickup?” Garrus asked, glaring at the furious colonist. Garrus didn’t like the disrespect they received from the old man; particularly Jaeger. He didn’t deserve it. They’d done everything they could, yet it wasn’t enough. _Was it ever enough?_ he wondered silently. Weeks ago he would have said no, but now Shepard was back. He knew his commander wouldn’t stop until he’d taken the fight to the Collectors and won. Garrus had faith in that.

“Shepard…I know that name,” the man murmured, his scowl deepening.

Jaeger scowled at the man, wondering what insult he would come up with next. He was about say something, but a voice from his past suddenly drifted toward him. “Commander Jaeger Shepard, the hero of the Citadel and first human Spectre. You’re in the presence of a god,” the voice murmured.

“I wouldn’t go as far as a god,” Jaeger muttered, rubbing the back of his neck and showing his discomfort. “It’s good to see you again, Ashley.”

“I would like to know how you can be standing here when you were spaced?” Ashley asked, her eyes narrowing in distrust as watched her old commander. Garrus stood back, watching the conversation with interest. He was surprised to find Ashley here. He was even more surprised to see the distrust in her eyes. He wasn’t sure what to expect from her, but the tension in the air was warning enough that this meeting wasn’t going to go well.

“Cerberus brought me back, Ash. They seem to be the only ones that are taking the disappearance of human colonies seriously,” Jaeger muttered, avoiding her penetrating gaze. He couldn’t look at her as they both knew what Cerberus was like. He knew she wouldn’t take this news well, not after everything they had seen - the experiments, tests and other monstrous behavior on the part of his new benefactors.

“So the rumors are true? You are working with Cerberus? How could you? You know what they’ve done! How can you work with an organization that has no boundaries?” she asked. Jaeger stiffened when he heard the disappointment in her voice.

“Ashley, I’m not working for them. I’m working _with_ them to stop these attacks. The Alliance hasn’t done anything to prevent the kidnappings yet. Do you expect me to turn my back on humanity and allow them to be taken by the Collectors?” Jaeger asked bitingly.

“But Cerberus, Shepard? I thought better of you,” she snapped disgustedly. “What will you do when they find Jarrid? What then?”

“They already know about Jarrid. He’s onboard the new Normandy. Cerberus wouldn’t dare touch him. They aren’t that stupid,” Jaeger answered tiredly.

“So Jarrid is safe. What about the experiments? You can turn a blind eye to that? How can you trust them?” Ashley asked, her voice filled with distrust. Her reaction hit Jaeger hard. He never thought he would hear that from one of his old crew members.

“I know what they’ve done, and I never said that I trust them. Unfortunately, they are the only ones trying to stop these abductions,” Jaeger snapped, his patience wearing thin.

“How can you betray the Alliance by defending Cerberus?” she asked with a look of disgust.

“Betray the Alliance? They smeared my name after I died! The buried everything we fought for and branded us liars! You were there! You know the Reapers are coming,” Jaeger hissed. “They don’t care about these abductions. You stand there and accuse me of betraying a group of people that I died protecting. What has the Alliance done, except ignore the problem? It’s their _own people_ being kidnapped! Answer that, Ashley,” Jaeger growled, glaring at her coldly.

“How could you? I thought better of you, Shepard. You turned to the enemy and ignored your own people,” Ashley retorted heatedly. “You may think Jarrid is safe, but he’s not.”

“Let me make a few things crystal clear to you, Williams. First of all, Cerberus knows about Jarrid and he is onboard the Normandy right now…safe with me. Secondly, did you just say that I turned to the enemy? They brought me back to life. Those vile experiments that you’re bitching about? Remember this Ashley - I am one of them,” Shepard spat. “Go back to the Alliance and find out why they haven’t properly investigated these disappearances. Ask them why they are ignoring their people. Better yet, ask them why they smeared my name after I died and was unable to defend myself.”

He watched as she scowled at him and stormed away. “You ok, Shepard?” Garrus asked.

“Yeah, just great. Let’s get out of here,” Jaeger muttered as he watched an old friend walk off into the distance. He didn’t think Ashley would ever trust him again and it hurt.

                                                                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

Jaeger groaned as he saw his son sitting at one of the mess hall tables. He had hoped to avoid him until he could wash the battle grime away. Jarrid didn’t need to see the blood or the damage his father had sustained.

Jarrid watched his father head for the showers. His eyes widened when he saw the blood that covered him. He wasn’t disgusted, but he was worried. Jaeger never kept his dangerous work a secret. The young drell’s main concern was that the blood belonged to his father. He knew getting his father to see the doctor wasn’t the easiest job.

Garrus moved over to Jarrid and took a seat with him. “It’s not your father’s blood,” he murmured, reading Jarrid’s expression easily.

“How bad was it down there? The look on his face reminds me of when the Citadel was destroyed and he found me stuck in our house,” Jarrid murmured. His attention was riveted to the doors of the shower room.

“Really bad. He met up with Ashley and it didn’t go well. She thinks he betrayed the Alliance,” Garrus told him.

“Damn! They used to be friends, too. That must have hit dad hard. I can’t believe she would say that,” Jarrid sighed. Several minutes later, his father entered the room. Though he maintained his usual stoic expression, anyone who was close to Jaeger could see that he was under a great deal of stress. Jarrid sat quietly as he watched him make his way toward them.

“I heard about Ashley,” Jarrid told him, watching his reaction closely.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Jarrid,” Jaeger stated firmly. He still couldn’t believe that Ashley would react to him as she had. He had dedicated his life to the Alliance. He’d never disobeyed an order he was given, even when he didn’t agree with it.

Her anger hurt more than he wanted to admit. He had thought Ashley would understand, but he was wrong. Her warning about Jarrid still echoed in his mind. It was a concern he shared with his former gunnery chief. He knew as long as Jarrid was aboard the Normandy, he could keep him safe and out of Cerberus’ clutches. However, when the time came to leave his son on the Citadel, he didn’t know how he would protect him. Added to this worry was the knowledge that there was a chance they wouldn’t return from defeating the Collectors. He had no concrete plans for Jarrid’s care should he die again, and it was something he needed to rectify immediately.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

Jaeger sat in his office, looking over the new dossiers he’d received from the Illusive Man. Three more people were to be added to the crew, and he was only familiar with one of them. Cerberus had located Tali, and Jaeger couldn’t wait to pick her up. The remaining two dossiers were for an assassin named Thane Krios and an asari Justicar named Samara. The information on both was sketchy, to say the least. He was impressed when he read Krios’ dossier. He was an assassin with extensive training in many areas of battle. He knew nothing of Justicars, but what he read was interesting. She excelled in biotics and that fact thrilled him. It would give him another powerful biotic to complement his crew. He only hoped this one had a better temperament.

He was still waiting for Jack to steal his ship. It wouldn’t shock him if she did. He wasn’t sure what to make of that woman. She had a lot of anger, but she was also pragmatic in her decisions and she didn’t suffer fools gladly.

Jaeger sighed tiredly and tossed the datapad off to the side of his desk. He leaned back in his chair and thought of the team he’d been building. So far it was looking good. They had a mercenary that was an excellent fighter, even though his outer exterior was gruff. There was Jacob, who followed orders to a tee. He wasn’t sure how Grunt would develop, but he’d had no further problems since he’d inserted his hand inside the krogan battle machine. It appeared as though he’d earned the krogan’s respect.

He scowled as he thought of Miranda. He wasn’t sure what to do with her. He would have loved to leave her at the nearest space port, but he was quite certain the Illusive Man would have problems with such an action. His scowl disappeared as he thought of the one person he trusted above all others – Garrus. That turian always had his back, both in a fight or onboard the ship. And when it came to Jarrid, Garrus was more than willing to help in any way he could.

His eyes flicked to the datapads with the dossiers on them. He couldn’t deal with them right now. There were more important things to attend to. Right now his priority was mining for minerals, and training the group he already had so that they learned to act as a unit. He wouldn’t add anyone else to the crew until training was well underway for his current group. He would wait a few days and see what their testing scores revealed.

Jaeger idly pressed the button on the panel to launch another resource probe. His mind kept wandering to his son, even when he tried to avoid it. His worry for Jarrid was almost overriding everything else. It was like a kick to the gut when he found out that Jarrid had Kepral’s syndrome. His first thought was to scour the universe for a cure. However, a cure would be useless if the Collectors weren’t stopped. His second thought was to order Mordin to find a cure, but he was concerned that such an act would take too much time and resources away from the professor’s study of the Collectors. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted his son healthy, but right now there was nothing he could do and that was a hard pill to swallow. He was supposed to be superhuman and yet he couldn’t even save his own son.

The thought of losing his son brought tightness to his chest. Each time he thought of it, he had to fight back tears and stifle the desire to scream at the universe for the pain he was suffering.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

They were now docked at Ilium, since probing planets had begun to bore him to tears. He couldn’t avoid the new recruits forever. He had already put them off for a week; now was the time to get them.

He left Joker with a smirk. Their banter always lightened his mood. It was the one time that he didn’t need to overthink his life; he could put his worries off to the side for a few moments.

He glanced at Kelly to see if there was anything urgent and was glad when she shook her head. With everything taken care of, he could now spend some time with his son. He grinned as he stepped into the elevator. He couldn’t wait to talk with Jarrid. He hadn’t had much time with his son as he had been busy with ship business. The only time they had alone together was at night, when his duties were complete.

Jaeger stopped dead as he entered his room. His heart stuttered and his breath caught. He felt his stomach turn and a sick feeling overcame him. Jarrid was curled up into a ball on his bed. He was gasping for breath and his scales were dull. His eyes were closed tightly and a look of pain covered his features. Jaeger moved quickly, sitting on the bed beside his son. He ran a hand over his back and could feel Jarrid quivering. He wanted to pull his son into his lap and hold him tightly, but his son was too old and too large for that.

Jarrid’s eyes flicked open when he felt his father nearby. “Dad?” he whispered hoarsely. A wracking cough caught him and held him in its clutches. He couldn’t breathe. His lungs felt as though they were about to explode from lack of oxygen.

Jaeger moved quickly, sitting his son up so that he was leaning against him. He held Jarrid close to him, trying to keep his own breathing even so Jarrid could follow suit. “Come on, Jarrid, you need to relax,” Jaeger whispered against the top of his son’s head. He stroked his back, trying to keep his hand from shaking. He fought back the tears that were threatening to spill forth. This was Jarrid’s worst attack yet and he knew they would only get worse as the diseased progressed.

If he could, he would give his son his own lung. If he needed it, he would give his own life so his son would live longer. A lump built in his throat as he felt Jarrid slowly relax. He couldn’t talk now even if he wanted to. He knew as soon as he opened his mouth, he would begin to sob; not speak.

Jarrid looked up at his father as his lungs loosened. “Dad, you have to go collect those two people,” he reminded him. He hated that his father was scared for him. What he hated more was that he was taking his father away from something important.

“There is not a fucking chance in hell that I am leaving you,” Jaeger stated heatedly.

“Dad, please. Don’t let me be the reason that you didn’t get them,” Jarrid pleaded.

“Jarrid, one day won’t make that much of a difference,” he lied.

“Maybe not to them. It might make a difference, though, to the humans that the Collectors attack next,” Jarrid whispered hoarsely.

Jaeger closed his eyes. He could see the torment in his son’s eyes and knew he had no choice but to go on this mission. It killed him to leave his son in this condition, but Jarrid would never forgive himself if someone died because he stayed.

“Fine, but Mordin has to look you over,” Jaeger muttered, swallowing his pride and giving his son what he wanted. It hurt to leave his son, but it scared him even more. He wondered if his son would be alive when he got back. He knew he couldn’t think like that, but it was one of many thoughts that crossed his mind.

“EDI, have Mordin report to my quarters,” Jaeger ordered coldly.

“Dad?” Jarrid questioned when he heard the coldness in his father’s voice.

“Don’t expect happiness. I can’t do that right now,” Jaeger muttered, avoiding his son’s concerned gaze.

Jarrid glanced over to the doors when they opened. He bit back a groan when he saw Mordin enter the suite. He didn’t want to be checked. He just wanted to be left alone. But his father had ordered it so he would do it. He didn’t see the point in it. It’s not like he was going to get better. He knew he only had a while left and then he would be gone; especially if he gauged his lifespan by his last attack. He honestly thought that attack would have done it, but his father had saved him. He was glad Jaeger had arrived when he had. He wasn’t ready to go yet.

Mordin ran a scan and bit back a hiss. When he’d first scanned Jarrid, the results showed that he was just entering the second stage of Kepral’s Syndrome. This scan showed that he had moved past the early phase of stage 2. This concerned Mordin greatly. He wasn’t sure why the drell’s disease was progressing so quickly, as his living quarters were dry and hot. There was no reason for it. Mordin made a mental note to keep a better eye on the drell’s progress. He didn’t notify Shepard of his findings.

“What’s the prognosis?” Shepard asked cautiously.

“Still need to look over findings. Will inform you when have answers,” Mordin answered, evading the commander’s questions. He knew Shepard was already under a great deal of stress. e knHehhhhhhHe wanted to have more answers before he told Shepard that his son may have no more than six months to live.


	5. Chapter 5

Jaeger led his team through the doors of Dantius Tower, and that was all he could admit to with leading. Garrus, Grunt and Jacob him even though his mind wasn’t here, but still in his room with Jarrid.

Grunt had come because he was getting antsy and a stir crazy krogan could be dangerous for the ship. Jacob had asked to come along and Jaeger didn’t saw no reason to refuse him. Jacob was a good fighter even though he worked with Cerberus. Garrus was at his side, but this time he’d actually thought about leaving him behind too look after Jarrid. His preference would have been to stay onboard himself and allow the others to undertake the mission. However, he knew he could never choose to take that path. He needed to be on these missions. He didn’t want to be here, not after holding his son while he struggled for breath. Jarrid had looked so pale that it worried him. He feared that he would recruit another team member, only to find that he’d lost his son.

He cursed himself as another bullet whizzed past him and Garrus had to pull him out of the line of fire. He couldn’t focus properly and it was becoming a hindrance to the team. He didn’t know how many times he had stood unmoving, bullets flying past him, without firing a single shot. If he continued this way, he wouldn’t be returning to the Normandy under his own momentum. He’d be carried back – gravely injured or even worse. Jarrid, was consuming his thoughts. He couldn’t get past the mental image of his son choking on his own breath, or the weak gasps that escaped him as he fought for his life. It haunted him.

They’d found several groups of salarians on their journey through Dantius Tower, and they had successfully rescued each one from Nassana’s mercenaries. At least those few workers had a chance at life, though many of their coworkers hadn’t been so lucky.

Jaeger shook his head, trying to banish all of these thoughts; but it didn’t work. He muttered obscenities and jerked when another bullet whiz by him. This time, however, it wasn’t meant for him. It sped past the commander and struck an unseen mercenary who was approaching for a sneak attack from behind him. Jaeger glanced around sharply, looking for the shooter. He caught a glimpse of a black-clothed figure leaping into a nearby ventilation shaft. His eyes widened and he instantly knew he’d just encountered Thane Krios. The assassin was a dead shot and Jaeger was impressed. He owed that assassin a huge thank you for saving his skin.

“Jaeger, we need you to focus,” Garrus reminded him quietly when all remaining enemies in the area had been eliminated.

“I should be with him on the ship, not going after another dossier,” Shepard snapped, burrowing his head in his hands. He wanted to scream at the world for the unfairness of it. He was here fighting to recruit another soldier while his son lay dying on the ship. His death may not be imminent, but it was slowly approaching. It wasn’t fair and it killed him. Last night had been brutal. Jaeger had barely slept as he kept watch over his son, making sure he would breathe through the night after his episode.

“It doesn’t matter now. There is nothing you can do for him at the moment. If you would focus on the mission you would get to him sooner; but the way we are going now, you won’t be returning and he will be fatherless… again,” Garrus snarled, pissed that the Commander wasn’t focusing. It wasn’t like Jaeger to be so distracted.

“Yeah, you’re right. Sorry…” Jaeger muttered, feeling ashamed that he was putting his team in danger. He took a deep breath and slowly released it, centering himself once again. “Alright, let’s do this,” he growled, before warping to the other side of the room and engaging more of the mercs.

Now that he was finally paying attention, they cleared the floor faster than any other. “What had you so distracted?” Garrus asked as they walked toward the elevator.

“Jarrid. He had an attack last night and it was his worse yet. He could barely breathe,” Jaeger answered softly.

“Shit!” Garrus growled, placing a consoling hand on Shepard’s shoulder. “Why are we doing this mission then?”

“To defeat the Collectors I need everyone, and Jarrid knows that. He made me promise that I would do these dossiers instead of staying on the ship worrying over him. He also reminded me that I can’t let my personal life interfere with my mission, but that is easier said than done,” Jaeger muttered with a grimace. “I almost didn’t come, but he was adamant.”

“Damn, Shepard, I’m sorry,” Garrus muttered, looking at his friend worriedly.

“Yeah, me too,” Shepard sighed, closing his eyes for a moment to gather himself once more. He had promised himself that he wouldn’t cry and that was one promise that he was going to keep. The crew didn’t need to see it or know about it. They didn’t need to know that he’d cried softly the previous evening when he thought he was about to lose his son. His son didn’t need to know, either.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Thane crouched low in the vent above Shepard’s team. He had been watching the group since they entered. At first he had thought the turian was the leader, but then he noticed that the turian had always deferred to one human. He didn’t understand why. The human wasn’t doing much. He seemed to be distracted, which was very dangerous for himself and his team.

Thane had been disgusted until he came closer to the group and noticed the wealth of agony in the human’s eyes. He didn’t know what put that look in the man’s eyes, but it couldn’t be good.

Thane noticed one of the mercs sneaking up behind the human and he didn’t hesitate in his decision to save the pained soldier. He was surprised when the turian snapped at the human. He received an even bigger surprise while listening to their conversation. The human was Commander Jaeger Shepard; thought to have been killed in action. Now Thane wondered what he was doing here and how he’d managed to survive. He remembered the news mentioning a son, though he didn’t pay much attention to the last broadcast he’d heard. Hearing about an abandoned child had been hard for him. It reminded him of his own mistakes.

Thane bowed his head when he heard that it was Shepard’s son that was sick. That would explain the commander’s lack of concentration. He knew what it was like to die. He had accepted it a long time ago. But to have one’s son preparing to die was a bitter pill to swallow. He wondered what sickness would take a human’s life and if it was something similar to his own disease. He watched as the turian placed a consoling hand on the leader’s shoulder.

Thane flashed back to the first time he had seen an image of the commander. He had been startled at the color of his eyes. They were a bright vibrant green. They were very noticeable against his slightly darker skin and light brown hair. He wasn’t sure what about the image had caught his attention, but it had held him enraptured for several moments. He glanced at the man below him and recognized that there were subtle changes. Most would miss them, but he didn’t. The fact that he’d noticed alarmed him until he reminded himself that it was his job to notice everything. Somehow that thought didn’t make him feel any better.

He turned his focus back to the fighting below him and raised a brow ridge. It seemed Shepard was able to shove his torment off to the side to be dealt with at a later time. He watched the human fight and understood why he was feared and respected. He didn’t stomp through a fight using his large frame. Instead he seemed to glide through his opponents. It was surprising to see such a large man move with that amount of grace.

With a final glanced as the last merc fell, he moved through the ventilation shafts to the next area. He wanted to watch them for a bit more. Hopefully he would discover why they were here. Their presence alarmed him to a small degree; but if Shepard’s reputation was accurate, he needn’t worry. The Shepard he’d heard about usually asked questions before killing, but even he was known to have a limit. So he was fairly certain Shepard wouldn’t shoot him on first sight. He would need to remain cautious, however, as much could change in a man over two years. It remained to be seen whether this Shepard was the same as the hero he’d heard so much about.

 

                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Jaeger led them through another floor, shoving all thoughts of his son to the back of his mind. When this mission was over he could dwell on it. He leaned against a wall just before they hit some stairs. They were patching up wounds, checking weapons, and preparing themselves before they moved further. He glanced up at the air vent across from him and wondered where the drell was. He had seen him leap up into one of them, but hadn’t seen or heard him again since.

Jaeger was startled for a brief moment when he saw a flash of color in the vent. He smirked. He now knew where the drell was. If it hadn’t been for the lighting in the room, he would never have found him; but the light had reflected off of his scales or eyes, Jaeger wasn’t sure which.

“Do you think we will catch the drell before he leaves the building?” Jacob asked, looking at the commander expectantly.

“Hopefully. I don’t want to have to search all of Illium to recruit him. If we’re quick we should catch him,” Jaeger muttered as he stared at the vent in front of them.

“What do we do if he’s hasn’t killed Nassana yet?” Jacob asked. “More specifically, should we do it or wait for him?”

“Let him take the kill. It’s his contract. Even though I want the bitch dead, especially after everything I’ve seen here. She’s as sadistic as I remember,” Shepard muttered, not once taking his eyes off the vent. Garrus glanced between Jaeger and the vent and realized that Shepard wasn’t talking to them, but to the assassin. “Alright, lets head out. Jacob, you have lead. I’m bring up the rear,” he ordered.

He waited until Garrus started up the steps before turning back to the vent. “I’ll meet you in Nassana’s office, Krios,” Shepard muttered, bowing his head respectfully.

                                                                                                ~oooooooo~

Thane was shocked at what he heard. They were searching for him, and they wanted to hire him for a mission. It was odd and he wasn’t even sure if he would accept.

He had seen the sadness in the human’s eyes and understood the cause. He decided not to take more time than was necessary. Shepard was waiting for him to fulfill his contract before talking to him. He thought about making it challenging and testing the group, but decided against it. The human had too much to worry about. If he was in the human’s place and his son was dying, Thane would be beside himself with worry.

He stayed near them, keeping a close eye on their movements and watching how they fought. As they moved forward, so would he. He crossed the bridge first, killing those that would impede him and leaving the others for Shepard and his team. He searched for nearby vents and found the opening just in time. Shepard and his team were just crossing the bridge and they were working quickly. He leapt up just as they rounded the corner. He sighed in relief. He’d never been caught out in the open unless he wanted people to see him and he didn’t plan on ruining his record now. Though the Commander seeing him in the vent had through him for a few moments.

He moved into the office, waiting for Shepard to enter. It didn’t take long. He listened as Shepard talked with Nassana. He didn’t need to be told there was animosity between the two of them. He was surprised to hear that Shepard had killed her sister, but from what he understood, Shepard had been set up. Thane glanced around the room and decided to use this moment as his distraction. He dropped down lithely, barely making a sound as he took out the first merc.  

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Shepard smirked as Thane Krios jumped down and quickly took out all three guards and Nassana, herself. The ease with which he completed the assassination was amazing. He watched as the drell bent his head and prayed. Shepard kept silent out of respect.

“Is he praying?” Grunt spat.

“Yes, he’s praying to his god either Kalahari, goddess of oceans and afterlife or thanking Amonkira for his swiftness and clean kills,” Jaeger murmured quietly.

“Why would he be doing that?” Jacob asked.

“He just killed a person, he is showing respect to the body. If its Amonkira he is praying to then its for the clean kills and finishing his mission,” Jaeger answered patiently.

Thane kept his head bowed, but his brow ridge rose when he heard the human’s comment. His curiosity was truly piqued now. He wondered how a human would know this and why they would care to know.

“Why would he pray for her?” Jacob scowled, nodding toward the dead woman.

“I’m not. I’m praying for myself,” Thane answered before Shepard could reply.

“I’m looking for your help with a mission,” Shepard began. “I’m going after the Collectors and I need the best. They say you are the best in your field.”

“The Collectors? That’s a suicide mission,” Thane stated. He was shocked to hear it, but not bothered.

“Yes. That is what they said about Ilos, as well,” Shepard chuckled, moving next to the drell. He could hear a thoughtful hum come from him. He was glad he had the implant in his ears once more.

“Yes, you do tend to do the impossible,” Thane said thoughtfully. He moved to the window with Shepard at his side. He could feel the human’s agitation and hummed a soothing note.

“Krios, you don’t need to sooth me,” Shepard told him. “I’ll relax when I am out of this tower and back on my ship.”

Thane sighed, hiding his shock once more. This human was full of surprises. He wasn’t sure what to make of it. “You see, this was to be my last mission. I’m dying,” Thane murmured.

“I hadn’t heard that. I take it you have Kepral’s Syndrome?” Shepard asked softly. He was really starting to hate that disease. He heard Thane’s shock note and withheld a chuckle.

“Yes, though I am surprised that a human knows about it,” Thane murmured.

Shepard gave a self-depreciating laugh, “Yeah, I’m all full of surprises. What stage is your disease in?”

“The third stage. It’s in the final stage,” Thane murmured, watching Shepard carefully.

“I assume you are not taking meds or anything,” Shepard muttered.

“That is where you are wrong,” Thane answered calmly. “Yes, I’ll take this contract and I will do it free of charge,” Thane murmured thoughtfully. He held his hand out toward the commander. Thane eyes widened as Jaeger murmured a few words in his own language. The pronunciation was awful, but the attempt to show him that amount of respect gave Thane pause. Thane’s eyes widened as Shepard bowed his head respectfully, still meeting his eyes while he shook his hand. Thane was mystified. He’d never met a human that treated him as an equal or understood his culture.

Thane followed Jaeger as he walked back to his companions. They made their way slowly down to Shepard’s vehicle. “How is it you know drell customs and language?” Thane asked curiously.

“That is not a question I’m going to answer yet. Not until I know you better and you are onboard the ship,” Shepard answered firmly. He glanced at his companions in warning. It was clear that he was telling them to remain silent.

                                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Thane stepped onboard the Normandy. A young human female met him at the airlock and introduced herself. She gestured for him to follow her and he quickly complied. Thane kept his senses alert as he walked through the unknown humans; all of whom watched him warily. She ushered him into a laboratory and presented him to the room’s only occupant. “Will need to do some scans before you go on missions,” the salarian announce without looking up from his work. Thane nodded without answering and continued following the female human. Exiting the lab, they stopped before another set of doors. Thane could hear raised voices and wondered if he was interrupting something. “Shepard is in there, Mr. Krios,” Kelly murmured before walking away.

Jaeger’s head snapped toward the door as it opened. He smirked as the drell walked in. He and Jacob had been arguing for the past hour about having Thane onboard. He thought the argument was over until Jacob turned his attention towards the drell. He listened as Jacob announced his misgivings, and Krios countered them calmly. He didn’t bother hiding his smirk as Krios politely put Jacob in his place.

“Jacob…” Jaeger growled in warning when the Cerberus agent started to say more.

“I’ll return to the armory,” Jacob muttered, then saluted and left. He spared one final glare at the drell before the doors closed.

“You should know that I intend to continue my recruiting tomorrow, providing all goes as planned,” Jaeger began. “My next dossier is for a Justicar. I want to see how you work with a group, so you will be coming,” Jaeger stated, waiting for the drell to protest or to voice a comment.

“My arm is yours, Shepard,” Thane said and bowed, gazing at the human curiously. He couldn’t figure this human out. He seemed to know quite a bit about drell customs.

“Well, I hope that more than your arm is at my disposal. Information on your race would be appreciated, as well,” Shepard murmured, watching Krios intently. He could see the curiosity and hesitation in them and wondered if the drell would give him the information he needed.

Thane hummed thoughtfully and he wasn’t sure if Shepard heard it or not. Humans shouldn’t be able to hear the lower sounds he made, yet Shepard could. “What is it you wish to know about drells?” Thane asked carefully.

“I’ll talk with you in more detail later. Right now I want to check on my son,” Shepard sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“My door is always open, but where should I place my things?” Thane asked.

“Life Support is the driest place on the ship next to the commander’s quarters,” EDI responded.

“An AI. My thanks,” Thane bowed respectfully.

“I’ll be by later to get that information and introduce you to someone. If you’ll follow me I’ll take you to Life Support” Shepard said leading the Thane out of the room. They both stepped into the elevator, Jaeger leaned back against the wall, watching the drell. He hoped this man would be able to help him. Right now he needed all the help he could get.

Jaeger walked to the elevator as Thane disappeared into Life Support. It didn’t take long for the elevator to arrive. He pressed the panel for his quarters. He hoped Jarrid would be in bed recovering. He leaned his head back against the wall and sighed. A pleased smile crossed his face now that he had someone who might be able to help him and his son.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Shepard walked into his room, his eyes widening as he saw his son sitting on the couch; looking much better. “How are you feeling?” Jaeger asked, taking a seat next to the young drell.

“Better,” Jarrid answered, avoiding his father’s eyes. His chest still hurt. Mordin had come up and given him new pills, but he never took them. Pills were just bearers of false hope. He wasn’t going to allow his hopes to rise. It wasn’t worth it. Jarrid glanced at his father and watched the strain he had been under melt away. He knew then that he would have to put on a show and pretend he was all better; even if it was the furthest thing from the truth.

Jaeger gave his son a searching look and could see he was lying. He may look better, but he wasn’t. Jaeger decided to allow him to continue with his charade if it made him feel better. Later he would speak with Mordin and learn the truth of the situation.

Jarrid sniffed the air lightly. He was used to smelling blood on his father, but there was another scent on him that he couldn’t place. Anger and protectiveness roared through him. Someone or something had invaded his territory. His mind repeated that thought over and over again. The feeling caught him off guard, but he couldn’t shake it. A burning rage rose up in him, his first though was he needed to protect his father, the second though was to find who owned the scent never encroached on his territory again. He needed to erase that scent from his father, it didn’t belong and wasn’t welcome.

Jaeger looked at his son, startled to hear him growling softly. The ridges along his neck were flared wide reminding him of a cobra, his red frills were puffed out and the rest of his throat was slightly swollen. Shepard wasn’t sure what was going on or what caused his son to behave this way. Slowly he rose from the couch, trying to make his movements calm so he wouldn’t upset Jarrid. He kept a watchful eye on him, not sure what to expect. He was almost positive that his son wouldn’t attack him, but he had never seen him react this way. Jaeger thought it might have been the blood on his uniform, but that didn’t seem right.

“Jarrid, what is it?” Shepard asked softly.

“Who were you near?” Jarrid growled, prowling toward his father. He didn’t like it. Someone had left their scent on his father and that wasn’t acceptable. His instincts were yelling at him to protect his father and remove the cause of the scent.

Jaeger gave his son a searching look and thought about everyone he’d encountered during the mission. The only unknown person he’d been around was Thane Krios. “Just the usual people and our new recruit, Thane Krios,” Jaeger answered. “Why, Jarrid?”

“It must be that scent, but why…?” Jarrid murmured to himself as he rose to his feet and began pacing.

“Jarrid, what are you talking about?” Jaeger grumbled, knowing he needed to move quickly in order to calm Jarrid. He placed a hand on his son’s shoulder, trying to get his attention.

“There…” Jarrid murmured. He stopped for a moment to clear his throat of the growl that wouldn’t go away. “You are carrying a scent that smells like a challenge,” he answered. His voice still held a growl, but it wasn’t as threatening.

“Well, Krios is a drell and Mordin said that your instincts are on overload due to puberty. So my suggestion is to ignore the scent. Krios is part of the team now,” Jaeger stated, hoping his son would listen. He watched as his son’s throat returned to normal, and sighed in relief that the worst was passed.

“I’ll try, but I’m not promising anything,” Jarrid grumbled, taking a seat on the couch.

Jaeger shook his head. It seemed his own stubbornness was beginning to manifest in his son. He remembered the hell he’d put his parents through, and knew his own hell was only just beginning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I should have warned readers that this could become a very dark story. I have about three more chapters to post before I am caught up to where it was on Fan Fiction.


	6. Chapter 6

Thane exited his room and headed for the Mess Hall to get dinner. He stopped in shock as he saw a very young drell standing at a counter collecting food. He estimated the child’s age at around 16. If he was correct, the youth was just starting his transition into adulthood. He wondered why Shepard would recruit one so young and where the child’s parents were. He was also surprised that the kid’s parents would allow him to wander around without supervision. This was the age when a drell’s instincts began to show, instincts that most drells no longer need. Territorial urges, as well as many other types, would begin showing themselves and could be dangerous to the focus of a young drell’s attention. This was a time when drells learnt about control. Meditation was mandatory at this age; to help them focus so they didn’t become lost in their memories and instincts.

He knew he’d stayed too long in one place when the child’s head snapped his way. He heard the warning growl as the boy set his plate down and made his way toward him. Each step was violence in waiting.

“Jarrid, leave him alone,” Thane heard Garrus warn. So the boy’s name was Jarrid. He still wondered where the parents were. They would be the only ones to be able to control the boy. Thane didn’t want to harm the child, but he wasn’t about to allow the child to kill him and he knew the child would die trying.

Thane gave a warning hiss and hoped that would work. It did nothing. If anything, it made the young drell even angrier. He watched as Jarrid tensed and prepared to defend himself. The strike never came. A voice stopped it and the young drell’s anger vanished like a flick of a switch. Thane knew that one of the parents had spoken. They were the only ones who would be able to get a reaction like that.

“Jarrid!” Shepard’s voice called out like a whip. He met Thane’s eyes and didn’t know an apology that would rectify the mistake his son had made. He wouldn’t blame the drell if he chose to leave the ship.

Thane looked on in shock as _Shepard_ was the one who stopped the child. He was also confused when Shepard placed his hand on the child’s neck and Jarrid relaxed as if nothing had happened. The reaction didn’t surprise him, but the one causing it did.

“Well, this wasn’t what I had planned. I’m not sure why he behaved that way. And I have no idea what apology would cover this,” Shepard muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. Thane detected his cheeks coloring and knew that he was embarrassed.

“There is no need to apologize. I expected a reaction like this from him when I spotted him,” Thane smirked as Jaeger’s eyes widened. “He is in the transition to adulthood and a lot of our instincts come forward at that time. One of the strongest is the territorial urge. Jarrid was warning me away from his territory. It is normal for his age, but he needs to be taught that it’s not a respectful way to behave in certain circumstances,” Thane explained calmly. He saw the relief in Shepard’s eyes.

“Thank you for the information. As I said, I wanted to know more about drells. He’s the reason,” Jaeger explained, nodding toward his son’s departing back.

“How is it that he came to be in your care?” Thane asked as politely as he could. He worried that he might have just insulted his employer when Shepard didn’t respond. He hummed softly, hoping to sooth the commander.

“Thane, you don’t need to sooth me. I’m not upset. I’m just trying to think of a quick way to answer your question. Unfortunately, there isn’t one,” Jaeger explained calmly.

“You can hear most of my tones, but humans aren’t normally able to hear them,” Thane commented quizzically.

“My son is a drell. I needed to hear him, so I had an implant installed that would allow me to hear all of his sounds,” he replied.

“If you are able, you should have your sense of smell heightened; especially now. He will be giving off scents that would be embarrassing if not kept in check. Other drell would find it insulting and may take matters into their own hands for the insult,” Thane explained. He could see that the commander was trying to understand, but was lost at the moment.

“Once again it looks like I owe you my thanks,” Jaeger murmured and bowed. Shepard nodded his head before he walked toward the elevator; following his son.

                                                                                                ~ooooooo~

Jarrid watched his father walk into the room. Worry had him by the throat. He wasn’t sure what his father’s reaction to his behavior would be. He had almost attacked one of his team members. He knew his father would never hit him, but he still didn’t like to upset him.

“Well, Jarrid, it looks like you will be learning a lot of things very quickly from now on. Thane told me that you acted according to your instincts, but you still have to learn to control it,” Jaeger sighed, taking a seat next to his son.

“Do you know what else we can expect?” Jarrid asked cautiously.

“You’ll be giving off some scents that could cause problems if you meet any other drells. Thane recommended that I have my olfactory senses altered so I can detect when you step out of line,” Jaeger commented.

“I’m not sure I will be able to control my instincts,” Jarrid muttered.

“Well, you’d better. Have you been meditating?” he asked.

“Not really,” Jarrid mumbled, not meeting his father’s eyes.

“I would suggest you correct that immediately. It will help to keep you centered, you know this Jarrid,” Shepard reminded him.

“I’ll start doing them,” Jarrid muttered, moving to the floor and assuming a meditative posture. “Dad, can I ask one favor? Don’t allow the drell up here until I have control of these instincts,” Jarrid requested quietly.

“Yeah, I’ll talk to him. He might be able to help you, if you allow it and if he’s willing. He is of your race and understands what’s happening to you better than I ever could,” Jaeger murmured thoughtfully.

“No! I can’t…” Jarrid shouted, panic racing through him. He was terrified that his father was trying to get rid of him. He trilled loudly; not able to control himself.

“Jarrid, relax! If you don’t want him near you, then that’s fine. There is nothing to worry about. We’ll figure this out. We always do,” Jaeger grinned as his son slowly calmed down. “I’m not leaving, so don’t worry,” he said and rubbed his son’s neck, helping to relieve the last of his stress.

                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Thane sat in his room trying to meditate. Unfortunately the sight of another drell, a child no less, threw him off. What confused him more was that a human was raising the child. That worried him. There were so many details about their race that a human wouldn’t know. His main concern was that Shepard wouldn’t be able to help his son as much as he needed. Jarrid was entering a very important time in a young drell’s life and there was much he needed to learn. He was relieved that Shepard was willing to seek council from him on this matter.

He remembered how he’d been when he was younger. The hanar had known what to expect. They had drell on hand to teach the young ones, but it was always the person they’d bonded with who took charge of their education. Not an intimate bond, but one of family. He remembered he had taken to the hanar who’d brought him to the training facility. Once he came of age the bond grew distant; he didn’t need that hanar anymore.

He wasn’t sure what he should do. He already knew that he would help Shepard in any way he could. He couldn’t see separating Jarrid from Shepard. But the boy might need guidance from another drell before he became disconnected. He didn’t want the child to experience that. But the child hadn’t seemed disconnected yet so that gave him hope.

Thane sighed. He couldn’t relax enough to concentrate. His last contract had taken a lot out of him, more than he would have believed. He knew his time was coming soon and he accepted that fact. But he wanted to help Shepard as much as he was able to and finish this last contract before he returned to the sea. He smiled grimly. There was a possibility that he wouldn’t be able to finish the contract. His last test showed that he had less than a year left.

He was pulled from his thoughts when someone requested entrance to his room. He unlocked the door and was surprised to see Shepard there. “Here, this will help with your breathing,” Jaeger murmured, passing him a mug of tea.

Thane smiled as he took in the aroma of the tea. It wasn’t a scent he was unfamiliar with. He cautiously took a sip. He almost purred, but caught himself before he vocalized his pleasure. He wasn’t sure what Shepard would think of the sound. He may have a drell child, but that didn’t mean he was appreciative of the sounds his race made. “What brings you here?” he asked politely.

“Thane, you can purr. My son does it every time he drinks a cup,” Shepard said and chuckled fondly as he spoke of his son. “And to answer your question, I came for more information on drells. If you are willing, of course.”

Thane slowly nodded his head. He took another sip of tea and didn’t hold back the purr. He watched Shepard closely. He didn’t seem to notice, as though he had heard the sound many times.

“What information did you wish to know?” Thane asked uncertainly.

“Any information you are willing to give about this stage of his life would be appreciated,” Shepard muttered, running a hand though his hair; showing his frustration. Thane leaned back in his chair, watching the commander. He wasn’t sure how to start this conversation. It was a sensitive subject and humans were known to be prudes. They didn’t believe in casual touching. From his personal experience, they were very uncomfortable speaking to others about intimate matters. Thane gave a low hum, showing his uncertainty. He had forgotten that the commander could hear it.

“What are you uncertain of?” Shepard asked, startling Thane from his thoughts.

Thane watched him for a moment before answering. “Your reaction. Human interaction is different from drell and I am not sure how comfortable you will be with what we may need to discuss,” Thane answered honestly.

“Yes, I know drell interactions are somewhat different from humans. I found that out when I was sixteen and began raising my son,” Shepard chuckled. “Let’s just say it was a learning curve. But it was one that I wouldn’t change.”

Thane nodded slowly, slight reassured that he wouldn’t insult the commander. That was the last thing he wanted to do. “He will be territorial and begin marking his space through glands in his hands. And his body will be changing, as well. The frills on the side of his neck and down by his hips will develop. They are very sensitive, almost as sensitive as the main sexual organ. Certain areas on top of the head will become more sensitive to stimuli. He will start making new sounds that he will have no control over and that may embarrass him. He will know the cause of the sounds and they are very personal,” Thane started explaining and stopped to gauge the commander’s reaction. He didn’t seem uncomfortable or agitated.

Jaeger sat quietly, taking in everything Thane said. He knew there was more to it than Thane was explaining, but that didn’t matter. He had somewhere to go now to help his son. It was a relief. Now he just needed to convince Jarrid that Thane was no threat to him.

                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

Jaeger walked into Mordin’s office to check on Jarrid’s condition. His son had been less than forthcoming and he refused to be left out of the loop. He found the salarian going over scans.

“Mordin, do you have a few moments?” Jaeger asked.

“Something wrong?” Mordin asked, glancing up at the commander.

“It seems that Jarrid doesn’t want to give me the latest news on his disease. Is there anything I should be concerned about?” Jaeger asked as he moved closer to the salarian.

“No, nothing new to report. Breathing should improve with new pills I gave him,” Mordin answered absently.

“What new pills?” Shepard asked with narrowed eyes. He wasn’t surprised that Jarrid hadn’t told him, but he worried that Jarrid wasn’t taking his pills. That scared him.

“Jarrid has pills. Gave them to him yesterday,” Mordin stated.

“Thank you, Mordin,” Jaeger murmured before walking out.

Mordin watched Shepard walk out and worried. He hoped Jarrid was taking his pills. The young drell needed them. He had placed Thane on the same pills. The older drell had reported that the pills eased some of the tightness in his chest.

Jaeger stormed into his room. Jarrid was sitting on the couch reading a book. “Where are they?” Jaeger snapped as he stormed over to his son.

Jarrid gaze snapped to his father, his eyes instantly widening. Fear entered him. He had never seen his father this angry with him before. He rose to his feet uncertainly. “Where are what?” Jarrid asked timidly.

“The pills Mordin gave you,” Jaeger asked, trying to remain calm.

Jarrid tried to hide his shaking hands. He feared what his father would say when he found out that he hadn’t been taking the new prescription. He went over to his bookshelf and grabbed the pill bottle hiding behind the books. With trembling hands he passed it over to his father.

“Have you taken any?” Jaeger asked as he spilled the pills onto his desk and started counting them out.

“No, why should I? They won’t cure anything,” Jarrid answered in a firm voice.

“No, they won’t cure you, but they will make breathing easier. Do you want another attack?” Jaeger asked, glaring at his son.

“No, I don’t want another attack, but I am not going to take meds when they aren’t useful,” Jarrid snapped, his anger rising. He wished his father would let him do this his way. It would be a lot easier.

“NO USE? Any aid to your breathing will lessen the chances of having another attack,” Jaeger nearly shouted, his voice thick with frustration.

“Do you know that for sure, dad, or is it just wishful thinking?” Jarrid asked softly, placing a hand on his father’s shoulder. “You know there is no cure for Kepral’s Syndrome. These pills may work, but for how long? Then what? You expect me to fight, but what if it’s a futile fight, dad? It’s one that I can’t win and you know it.”

“That may be so, but you can’t give up, Jarrid. You have to fight this! You can’t let it win and take you now,” Jaeger said, his voice thick with emotion.

Jarrid didn’t say a word. The pain he saw in his father’s eyes hurt, but he was doing the best thing. No pill could cure him and he was slowly accepting the fact that he wouldn’t live for long. It was not something he wanted, but it was the truth. His father just needed to accept it.

Jaeger sat heavily in his office chair and buried his head in hands. His son was giving up. He couldn’t believe it. It killed him. Slowly he looked over to his son. He had moved back to the couch. Instantly, determination filled Shepard’s mind and body. If his son wasn’t going to fight, then he would have to fight for them both.

He grabbed the pill bottle and stared down at it for a moment, wondering if his course of action would be the right one. Should he force his son to take the meds? He was sixteen now and able to make his own decisions. A cold feeling settled in his gut when he replayed Jarrid’s words. Yes, to keep his son alive longer he could force him to take the pills.

With determined steps, he grabbed a glass of water and marched over to Jarrid; a pill held in his hand. “Take it!” he ordered, using his ‘commander’ tone.

“Dad…” Jarrid began, but stopped when he met his father’s eyes.

“Now, Jarrid!” Jaeger ordered coldly. He watched his son bow his head, his shoulders slumped. Jaeger pressed the pill into his son’s hand and watched as he took it. “From now on, you are to go to Mordin’s lab to take your pills. I will be accompanying you. If I am not on board, someone else will be your escort.”

Jarrid’s eyes widened. He knew he’d just pushed his father too far. He moved toward his father, his head bowed. “I’m sorry,” Jarrid whispered before walking into the bathroom.

Jaeger watched him walk into the bathroom and shook his head. His son didn’t want to fight. It looked like he would have to be the one to lead the battle against Kepral’s. With a grim smile on his face, he made his way to Mordin’s lab; the pill bottle held firmly in his hand.

                                                                                ~oooooooooooooo~

Jaeger needed off the ship. He needed to vent some of his frustration and anger. He asked Garrus and Thane to accompany him on a quick mission to a nearby planet. He needed to shoot something - _lots of things, actually_ \- and was glad he had found this planet. It was swarming with Blue Suns mercenaries. Perfect for his mood right now.

He smirked evilly. He hadn’t given Jarrid his pill before he left. Instead he had arranged for Grunt to escort his son to Mordin’s laboratory. Grunt had specific orders. There was to be no blood, no unconscious drell and no major bruises. He chuckled. Grunt had been more than willing to escort Jarrid to Mordin’s and make sure that he took his pill.

Mordin had already assured him that he would make sure Jarrid took his medication. He wasn’t sure how the salarian would accomplish it, but he trusted the scientist.

He turned his attention to Thane when the first room was free of enemies. “Mordin told me that he placed you and Jarrid on the same pills. Does it help at all?” Jaeger asked.

“Yes, better than any of the other pills I’ve taken thus far. My breathing comes easier,” Thane answered honestly. He hated admitting to a weakness, but for Shepard he would; especially when it concerned his son.

“Good. Maybe Jarrid won’t have as many attacks,” Jaeger muttered.

“I heard Jarrid wasn’t taking his pills,” Garrus commented. Jaeger stared at him in shock, not sure where he’d gotten his information.

“He wasn’t. But that problem has been handled. Grunt should be escorting him to Mordin’s right about now,” Jaeger replied grinned evilly.

Garrus turned to him in shock and then had to chuckle. He couldn’t see Jarrid giving Grunt a hard time. He was surprised that Jaeger would take that step.

                                                                                ~oooooooooooooo~

Jarrid sat in his father’s quarters watching an old vid. His father had told him before he left that he was to get himself down to Mordin’s for his dose of medication. He still didn’t agree, so he chose to watch the movie, instead.

His gaze flicked to the door when it opened. He let out a high pitched noise when he saw the krogan standing in the doorway, glaring at him. He wasn’t sure what to do. His father wasn’t here to protect him and he couldn’t fight a krogan.

“I’m supposed to escort you to Mordin’s,” Grunt growled. He didn’t want to take care of the runt, but Shepard had asked and he wasn’t stupid enough to say no. The limitations that Shepard had laid out were fine with him. No blood, no major bruising. He also couldn’t knock him out or he won’t be able to take his pills. But Shepard hadn’t said anything about scaring the runt or tossing him over his shoulder if he didn’t listen. That one would be fun and it would scare the kid at the same time.

“I’ll go to his office later,” Jarrid answered and turned his attention back to the movie. He knew that the krogan wouldn’t do anything, not when it was his father that gave the order. He assumed that he was safe.

“Shepard told me to take you _now_. I am not disobeying Shepard’s order for his runt,” Grunt growled and stalked over to the drell. He grabbed him by his leather coat and hauled him to his feet. Jarrid didn’t say a word. The fear in the drell’s eyes told Grunt that he knew he couldn’t get away.

Jarrid thought of persuading the krogan, but he knew it was useless. His sullen gaze dropped to the ground. “Fine, let’s go,” Jarrid muttered, dragging his feet toward the elevator. He heard the krogan let out another growl, this one filled with frustration. A high pitched noise escaped him when he was suddenly lifted in the air and unceremoniously thrown over the krogan’s shoulder. The wind was knocked out of him and he grunted. Shame and embarrassment washed over him as the krogan stepped off of the elevator onto the CIC deck. Everyone could watch him being treated like a child.

“Here you go,” Grunt stated to the doctor as he practically dropped the drell onto the floor.

“Good,” Mordin said. He walked over to Jarrid brusquely and handed him the pill. His eyes narrowed as he watched Jarrid swallow it. With a smirk, Mordin walked over to his desk and grabbed a tongue depressor.

Jarrid glared at them and took the pill. He couldn’t believe his father was allowing this. His eyes narrowed as Mordin walked over to him with something in his hand. “Open your mouth,” Mordin ordered.

Jarrid stared at him stubbornly. It was bad enough that he was carried into the office like a child. Now the doctor wanted to do something to him. It was humiliating and degrading. He knew he deserved the treatment, however, after the way he’d argued with his father.

Jarrid sighed and opened his mouth. He couldn’t believe Mordin was searching every part of his mouth for the stupid pill. “Good, took pill. Will be doing this every time you come in until I trust you to take medicine on your own,” Mordin stated coldly and turned away, resuming his work.

Grunt didn’t bother escorting the kid anywhere else. His job was done. He walked out with a grin that made the humans uneasy. He found their reactions amusing.

                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Shepard walked onto the ship and his pilot turned to face him. “You should have seen it, Jaeger. That krogan carried Jarrid to Mordin’s over his shoulder,” Joker chuckled.

“I don’t doubt it. I gave him permission to do whatever he thought was necessary,” Jaeger answered with a slight smile. He was relieved that his son had taken his pill. It was one less thing to worry about.

Thane and Garrus heard the conversation. Garrus smirked. He knew Shepard would never allow someone to harm Jarrid, so he assumed that Jarrid was giving Shepard a hard time about something he didn’t want to do.

Thane glanced between the friends. He noticed that neither Joker nor Garrus looked worried. He did wonder why the krogan would carry Jarrid over his shoulder in front of everyone, however. He thought about defending Jarrid, but the look on Jaeger’s face stopped him. He seemed pleased. Why that was the case, Thane didn’t know.

Jaeger caught the worried and concerned look on Thane’s face and decided to explain. “Jarrid wouldn’t take his meds. When I confronted him, he told me that he had no plans to take them. So I took things into my own hands. I made sure that he would follow his doctor’s orders,” Jaeger said.

Thane’s eyes widened. He understood what Shepard had done and agreed with his actions. He would have done the same if his son was sick. He didn’t know how Shepard was able to maintain a strong front all the time without letting his fear for his son override some of his decisions. Thane knew if it had been Kolyat, he wouldn’t have been able to think straight.

He barely noticed as Garrus left. He was still deep within his own thoughts. He felt a light touch on his shoulder and reality snapped back around him. He looked into Shepard’s brilliant green eyes, entranced. “Are you ok?” Jaeger asked quietly.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Thane answered automatically. He held his breath as Jaeger’s eyes searched his. He didn’t know what Jaeger saw and wasn’t sure if he wanted to know.

Thane let out a relieved breath as Shepard started walking away. He followed. There was no reason for him to be on CIC deck. He stayed on the far side of the elevator, trying to keep a respectable distance from the commander.

Shepard was an enigma to him. He’d only seen him lose control of his emotions once. But since then he hadn’t seen a crack in Shepard’s mask. A part of him wanted to see some emotions from the human, but that thought annoyed him. There was no reason for it. He knew this human interested him. Shepard was a well-known figure and his history was an interesting one. He tried to convince himself that there would only be one reason he’d want to see more emotions from Shepard - just to learn what type of man the commander of the Normandy really was.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A warning this chapter is dark emotionally wise. I am changing the original story I had up on Fanfiction, for those who read this before will notice it mostly in the next chapter. 
> 
> Mass effect 2 and 3 will be in this story, I will not be breaking it up like I have done with my other stories.

Jaeger sighed in relief as they finally docked at the Citadel. A month ago he had planned on giving shore leave, but that plan fell through as more missions built up. Now, finally his team could take a few day break. A few days to unwind while the Normandy was restocked. The limited rations they had were gone, also the rations they had for the aliens, well if they had waited another day it wouldn’t have been pretty. Garrus was already complaining not that he blamed his friend. While he was here he planned on making sure Gardner had a better selection of food and a cook book for all races. There was no way he was going to suffer through another inedible meal.

Jaeger’s gaze turned to Jarrid. He grinned as he watched his son sprawled across his cot. It reminded him of himself when he was younger. The size of the bed didn’t matter; he was always able to take up most of it. His thoughts drifted to another area - one that he was just beginning to understand. He thanked the gods that Thane was onboard. The drell had helped him in so many ways over the last month. He’d taught Jaeger more about the drell religion and given him more information on Jarrid’s puberty difficulties. He’d also taught Jaeger how to help Jarrid with his eidetic memory. The memories had been proving difficult for his son to handle.

Jarrid seemed to be handling his territorial problem better, which was a relief. Jaeger smirked at his tired son. Recently he had been going to bed earlier than usual. Thane had informed Jaeger that exercise would help his breathing, so he had taken his son down to practice room. He worked his son hard, but not hard enough to cause problems. Jaeger made sure Jarrid didn’t overdo it. At the moment he was working on his son’s hand to hand fighting skills. He had to admit that Jarrid had a lot of potential and he was surprised that his son remembered all his teachings. He learnt one important thing now that his son was older. Drells are stronger than human. Even with all his augments, his son’s punches were surprisingly harder than he expected. Since that was the case, Jaeger didn’t have to hold back as much. He was always careful during their bouts to make sure than no major injury befell Jarrid, however.

He and Jarrid’s sparring sessions had become quite popular with members of the crew, and most had stopped by at some point to watch them. Sometimes bets were placed. He found it amusing, and if it kept the crew happy he didn’t mind. Once he was finished with his son, the others would start their training and challenge each other. Everyone except Thane had challenged him and lost. He fought Thane and it was a challenge. They had been practicing their hand to hand. It had been the crew’s idea to pit them against each other. He gave Thane the option to back out and he never did. Jaeger thought of how tough it had been to take the drell down. After countless bouts, there was still no clear victor between the two of them. He was very glad that he had hand to hand training or he wouldn’t have stood a chance against Thane, as it was, he struggled. The drell was quick, agile, and knew where to hit and when for the most effect.

Shepard grimaced as he looked at the time. He wanted to be off ship, but that wasn’t possible; not with his son onboard. It looked like he would be spending his shore leave on the Normandy. He didn’t mind, but he knew he needed time to himself. He had so many things attacking him at once that he needed time to get his thoughts straight.

He glanced up when the door to his quarters opened. Garrus stepped in, “Why aren’t you ready?” Garrus asked quizzically.

“I can’t leave,” Shepard replied and nodded toward his son.

“Shepard, you need a break, too. You need to get off the ship and away from everything or you’ll lose focus on what you’re fighting for,” Garrus reminded him.

“No, Garrus, I won’t lose my focus. My reason for doing this is there on the cot. If I don’t stop the Reapers and the Collectors, what happens to him? You were there when Sovereign spoke to us,” Jaeger muttered softly.

“Shepard, you still need a break. Come out for a bit. Jarrid, will be fine on his own until you get back,” Garrus said sternly.

Jaeger sighed. He knew that Garrus was right; he needed time away from the ship. He was going stir-crazy. “Give me a few minutes.” He quickly wrote out a note to Jarrid and placed it near him so that he would find it. He didn’t think his son would be up tonight, but he couldn’t take the chance. With a final glance at his sleeping son he headed out with Garrus.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Thane enjoyed the silence of the ship. He knew there was shore leave, but he didn’t bother to visit the Citadel, there was no reason to. He was more comfortable staying onboard the ship, he had everything he needed here. He was surprised to find that he actually felt safe on the Normandy. He didn’t have to be constantly on his guard.

He moved around the mess hall and grabbed a mug of tea. This time he used the blend he brought with him and not the one that Shepard brought him whenever he visited. He didn’t know what the tea was that Shepard always brought him, but he had to admit that it helped with his breathing. He wondered how Shepard knew that it would be beneficial. That also brought up the question of how Shepard knew about Kepral’s Syndrome. He couldn’t see Jarrid having the desease, he was too young for that death sentence and Shepard was very careful of his son.

He purred his pleasure as he took a sip of tea. His eyes were half closed, showing his pleasure. He could do this now that he was alone on the ship where no one could see him with his guard down.

He tensed as he heard the elevator and an annoyed growl slipped out before he could catch it. It looked as though he was about to receive some company and he wasn’t impressed. His brow ridge rose as he caught sight of Jarrid stepping off the elevator. He really didn’t want to put up with the territorial drell even if the boy was doing better at controlling his emotions.

Jarrid hesitated when he saw Thane. He fought against the desire to allow his territorial instincts to rule. He’d only come down for the tea that his father always made him. His chest had been hurting a lot lately and he wasn’t going to notify his father. He didn’t want to add more worries to his father’s already full plate. At least he’d been able to avoid speaking to his father about the events that occurred while he was dead. That was one conversation he hoped never to have.

He ignored the drell as he grabbed a mug from the cabinet. The urge to growl at the drell was growing and he needed to get away quickly before he embarrassed himself again. He took a deep calming breath and it proved to be a mistake. His lungs protested. He gasped to regain his breath, but it didn’t happen. That gasp turned into choking coughs that hurt his chest.

Thane moved quickly toward the kid. He knew without being told what was happening. Quickly he reached out, touching Jarrid on the shoulder while he softly crooned in his ear. He watched Jarrid struggle not to react. “EDI, where is Commander Shepard?” Thane growled.

“Commander Shepard is off the ship,” EDI answered.

“Have Commander Shepard report to the mess hall. His son is having an attack,” Thane ordered. He knew EDI would do what he asked. Everyone knew how protective Shepard was of his son. Grunt wore his scar proudly, showing anyone who wanted to see.

“What stage are you in, Jarrid?” Thane asked urgently.

“Second,” Jarrid gasped out, barely getting the words out before another hacking cough took hold.

                                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Jaeger took the first sip of his drink. It had been a while since he drank and he’d forgotten how relaxing it could be. He smirked at Garrus. He was surprised that the turian wasn’t gloating.

“That didn’t take long,” Garrus commented, grinning.

“What’s that?” Jaeger asked warily.

“For you to relax for a few minutes. All it took was one drink,” Garrus chuckled. “Wonder what you’re going to be like after a few more?”

“We aren’t going to find out,” Jaeger muttered. “I still need to be able to command the ship when we board.”

“You’re starting to worry again. Jarrid will be fine. He’s sixteen years old now, almost an adult,” Garrus reminded him.

“Oh I know, but it’s his Kepral’s that I am worried about. If he didn’t have that then he could be on his own for short periods of time,” Jaeger said, leaning back in his chair and finishing off the rest of his drink. He barely had his hand up to motion for another when an asari came over to them and delivered the new round. He immediately started sipping the new cup.

Jaeger glanced around the room. His crew was uncommonly quiet. He searched for Grunt and found him further back, watching an asari dancer. Jaeger chuckled, motioning toward Grunt. “Think he’ll behave?” he asked with an impish light in his eyes.

“First time? Nope, don’t think so,” Garrus grinned. His grin slipped away as he caught sight of Jacob making his way toward them.

“What is it?” Jaeger asked, following Garrus gaze. Jaeger bit off a groan of disappointment when he saw Jacob. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, but knew it couldn’t be good.

They both watched as the Cerberus operative took a seat with them. “So, Commander, have a question. How did you become the father of a drell?” Jacob asked, leaning back in his chair.

“My mother and father were on a planet that was having a dispute of some type. My father was killed along with Jarrid’s father. Jarrid’s mother died while giving birth to him and my mother brought him onboard. She asked me to look after him for a short time. Well, it was supposed to be a short time,” Jaeger explained quietly.

“What do you mean ‘it was supposed to be a short time’?” Jacob asked curiously.

“When drells first open their eyes, they bond with their parents. Jarrid didn’t open his eyes until he was in my arms. I found out later through extensive reading that there was more to it than that. Drells use scents to bond with their parents. Jarrid connected to my scent and from that moment on, he was my son,” Jaeger answered, shrugging.

“How old were you?” Jacob asked, shocked.

“I had just turned 16 when I met Jarrid,” Jaeger answered, chuckling as he remembered how flabbergasted he was while raising a drell child at his young age.

Silence fell over the table. It was a comfortable, not strained, silence. Jaeger closed his eyes, listening to the music surrounding them. He knew he should get back to the Normandy, but simply couldn’t find the energy.

“Commander, your presence is required on the Normandy urgently,” EDI announced. Cold fear rushed through Jaeger. There was only one reason for EDI to contact him. He didn’t bother glancing at Garrus or Jacob. Instead he rushed straight from the bar to the Normandy.

Garrus looked on worriedly. He wanted to follow and see what was happening, but knew that Jaeger would prefer him to stay and keep an eye on the crew in his absence. “I hope it’s not Jarrid,” Jacob muttered, his voice filled with worry.

“It is. That’s the only reason EDI would contact Jaeger,” Garrus hissed.

“You and Shepard are very close. I’ve noticed that you call him by his first name,” Jacob commented, watching Garrus closely.

“We are, but not in the way your expression suggests,” Garrus bit out coldly.

“Sorry, meant nothing by it,” Jacob muttered sheepishly. He watched Garrus for a few moments before turning back to his drink. He hoped Jarrid was safe or there would be hell to pay. He had seen how protective Shepard was of Jarrid and knew nothing good could come from damage to the boy. Right now he would bet huge credits that Jarrid was the safest kid in the galaxy. Everyone on the Normandy would protect the kid just so Shepard didn’t lose it and go on a killing spree.

                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Thane glanced up sharply as Shepard entered the mess hall, fear and worry covering his face. Thane could smell the alcohol on him, but it wasn’t so strong as to suggest that he was drunk.

“Jarrid,” Jaeger said and grabbed his shoulder, moving him so that he could lean against him and feel his own breathing. He messaged his son’s head and neck, making sure to avoid the more embarrassing areas. “How long has he been like this, Thane?” Jaeger asked urgently.

“Fifteen, to twenty minutes. I had EDI contact you as soon as the attack started,” Thane told him.

“How long has he had the disease?” Thane asked, watching closely as Jarrid began to relax.

“I was diagnosed a few days after my dad died,” Jarrid answered calmly as his breathing settled back to normal.

Thane felt rage rush through him. While Shepard had been alive he had placed his son in dangerous conditions. He couldn’t believe the commander would do something like that, but it was the only plausible reason for Jarrid’s extreme condition. It was irresponsible of Shepard and downright cruel. He had been raising a child from a different race and didn’t bother learning everything so the child could stay safe. What made it worse for Thane was that Jarrid was only sixteen years old; four years younger than his own son.

What trust he had for the commander died immediately. He growled low and warning filled the deep rumble. He didn’t let up when Jaeger turned a shock look toward him. “Thane?” Jaeger questioned, his eyebrows raised.

“We need to talk once you are done with Jarrid,” Thane growled.

“I’ll meet you in life support shortly,” Jaeger muttered, turning back to his son. He glanced at Thane’s retreating back in confusion as he led his son to the elevator.

                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Thane sat at the table in his room, his back stiff with anger. He couldn’t calm down even if he wanted to. It bothered him greatly that Shepard would do this. He had begun respecting the human, even looking forward to their talks. Now he knew he would never be able to keep his anger in check and continue teaching Shepard about drell physiology.

He growled softly when his door opened and Shepard’s scent came to him. He watched as Jaeger moved to the window overlooking engineering. Thane waited for him to speak, but the Commander stayed silent.

“You realize Jarrid is dying?” Thane questioned coldly. He wasn’t going to take it easy on this human. This human had forced one of Thane’s own race to suffer a slow death.

“Yeah I know. Yeah I know I fucked up. I know I murdered my son by my stupidity,” Jaeger muttered. “There is nothing you can say that will be worse than what I’ve already said to myself.” Jaeger fell silent, waiting for Thane’s biting words.

Thane sat at his table in stunned silence. Something told him that there was more to this than he knew. He had watched Jarrid and Shepard together and was shocked to find out that Jarrid was sick. He had seen how well Jaeger looked after his son. The conflicting facts just didn’t add up. He quietly chastise himself for being soft. He shouldn’t make excuses for Shepard, it was probably guilt that was making the human care for his son better than he had been.

“If there is nothing else, I need to return to Jarrid,” Shepard muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. “If you want, I can drop you off wherever you wish. Let EDI know the destination.” Thane watched in shock as the commander walked out of the room. Jaeger looked to be a man carrying a lot of guilt. Though he fought against it, a part of him wanted to believe that Shepard hadn’t done this to his son, but his anger right now was to strong to ignore the fact that Jarrid was dying and it had happened while the Commander was still alive.

                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Days passed slowly and the Normandy could finally leave the Citadel. In another week they would be doing Jacob’s mission. Jaeger and Thane hadn’t said a word to each other since their altercation in Thane’s room. Jaeger thought things might have settled down in the week they’d been apart, so he had decided to test the waters and see for sure. He had Thane join him on Jacob’s mission, but he brought Garrus along in case things got out of hand.

He should have known it would be useless to hope that Thane would be able to stay onboard. Jacob’s mission proved the futility of that hope. It was all very awkward. Thane had followed each of his orders, but there was a tension between them that the entire crew felt. Shepard knew he wouldn’t be able to use Thane again. He would have to drop Thane off at the Citadel or wherever he wished. It was a shame. The drell was an asset to the team.

Shepard made his way to his room. He was surprised to find Jarrid waiting for him. “What is Thane mad about?” Jarrid asked. He had heard the rumors. Kelly told him that Thane was upset with his father for something. No one seemed to know the reason.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it as soon as we dock on the Citadel,” Jaeger muttered.

“Dad, what’s that supposed to mean?” Jarrid asked.

“When we dock Thane will be leaving the ship. The tension between us is not good for the mission or the other crew members,” Jaeger explained. He was so tired. It seemed that he would move ahead a few steps and then something would happen to set him back. Right now it was losing Thane. He was starting to be a good friend, but Jaeger should have known it couldn’t last. Actually it was for the best; considering the thoughts that he had been having of the drell. It was something Thane wouldn’t appreciate and something that hadn’t crossed his mind in a long time.

“Dad, you need him and his experience. Especially with this mission,” Jarrid cried angrily.

“Jarrid, leave it alone. I’m going to grab a shower and then lay down for a while. Why don’t you find something to do,” Jaeger said tiredly. He trudged to the shower and leaned against the wall as the warm water poured over him.

Jarrid watched as his father stumbled into the bathroom. He knew Jaeger hadn’t been sleeping well since his last attack, only a few hours at a time or less. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d awaken to find his father watching over him. Now there was something wrong with him and Thane. He didn’t know why his father was going to ask Thane to leave; nor did he understand why Thane would be upset with his father. It bothered him greatly. He had noticed the way his father would calm down whenever Thane was around. He had also noticed that his father hadn’t been as upset lately. What he found amusing was that Thane seemed to react the same in the presence of the commander. Jarrid thought the two men were becoming friends and he hated to see this happen.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Jarrid went back upstairs after giving his father some time to himself. He found his father face down on the bed, fully clothed. Jarrid shook his head when he saw that his father was even wearing his boots. He carefully took them off, taking care not to disturb him. He knew his father was exhausted from staying awake, watching him through the nights.

Jarrid watched his father for a few moments. He knew that he couldn’t be comfortable in his current position, but he wasn’t going to move his dad. Not a chance. His father suffered from too many nightmares to be able to safely move him.

When he knew his father wasn’t going to wake up, he turned his attention to the datapad Mordin had given him. He was supposed to give it to his dad, but he was sleeping. Jarrid read over the doctor’s notes. His shoulders fell as he read the professor’s determination. The attacks he had been having had been doing more damage to his lungs. Mordin stated that he was no longer in the beginning of the second stage of the disease.

He angrily brushed away the tears that trailed down his cheek. More bad news. First his father died, and then he found out that he had a deadly disease. His father is returned and then? He finds out that his father is now doing this mission and it happens to be a suicide mission and he may not return. Now to top it all off his disease was getting worse; if he lived to see his seventeenth birthday he would be lucky. All because his caretaker couldn’t take the heat…

He buried his head in his hands and cried, trying to stifle his sobs so he didn’t wake his father.

Jaeger woke abruptly. He knew something was amiss, but wasn’t sure what it was. He sat upright, instantly alert for danger. What he found when he looked up was far worse for him than any danger. Jarrid sat in his office chair with his head in his hands. Jaeger could hear his muffled sobs. Without hesitation he moved to his son and removed his hands from his face. “What is it?” he asked softly.

Jarrid shook his head and passed the datapad to his father. Jaeger took the datapad, worried when he saw the despair in his son’s eyes. He quickly scanned over the contents and sighed. His son was worrying for nothing; his last discussion with Mordin had indicated that the professor was onto something. The biopsy he took from Thane had helped his research greatly.

“Jarrid, listen to me,” Jaeger said urgently, trying to break through his despair.

“Dad, don’t, it’s all there. We can’t hide from it anymore,” Jarrid whispered as another sob choked him.

“Yes, the datapad is telling you that you’ve gotten worse, but Mordin says that his research is coming along wonderfully. Thane had a biopsy done and that helped Mordin’s research,” Jaeger told him softly, making sure his voice displayed the hope he felt.

“I can’t. I won’t get my hopes up, dad. What if he doesn’t find a cure? We can’t hide from this and you can’t close your eyes to it. This time you can’t save the day,” Jarrid spat angrily.

“Then we keep searching. We don’t give up. Jarrid, you can’t give up and let this disease take you without a fight,” Jaeger stated passionately.

“You make it sound so easy. It’s not easy. You aren’t the one with the disease. You don’t know how scary it is when I have an attack. I worry that each attack will be the last one,” Jarrid sobbed.

“The same thing runs through my mind. It terrifies me to see you suffering and know that there is nothing I can do to help you, but I’m not giving up and neither should you,” Jaeger stated firmly, holding his son’s face between his hands so he wouldn’t avoid his eyes.

“How can you be so confident?” Jarrid asked, tears running down his cheeks. He wished he had his father’s confidence. At the moment he was on the verge of giving up. He couldn’t do it anymore. The attacks were painful; sometimes he couldn’t breathe for long periods after one.

He was also upset that e was Thane had to help him with his last attack. His father had been on a mission and hadn’t been there to help, but Thane had helped him. He wished that he had Thane’s sense of calm when it came to dying. Maybe then he wouldn’t be so afraid.

Jaeger pulled him close, holding him tightly as Jarrid sobbed. He felt for his son. He didn’t know what to do other than to be there and give him some hope that he could hold onto.

Jaeger glanced up as the doors to his quarters opened. He was surprised to see Thane walk in. He wasn’t sure why Thane would appear in his room, given the current state of their relationship. He could see the anger in Thane’s eyes as he stared at him.

“What happened?” Thane asked, his voice colder than he intended. It was hard to stand in front of the commander and not show his anger. Shepard actions toward his son kept the drell in a constant state of confusion. He didn’t understand how any man that constantly showed his love for his son could do something that would cause him to die. It made no sense, unless it was guilt that was pushing him now. _That was probably it,_ he thought with contempt.

 _Maybe he isn’t guilty?_ The other thought came to him. It had crossed his mind many time and he didn’t know which to believe. He wanted to believe that Jaeger would never do this to his son.

“He just found out that he’s gotten worse,” Jaeger answered softly as he stroked Jarrid’s back. He couldn’t meet Thane’s eyes. In them he knew he would see how pained he was by Jarrid’s condition. Jaeger kept his face bowed so that his cheek was resting against the side of his son’s head.

He heard Thane’s growl and waited for his biting words, but none came. Thane stood glowering at the human. His gaze turned to Jarrid, who was holding Shepard’s shirt in his fists as he cried. The entire situation confounded Thane. If his initial thoughts were true, then Jarrid wouldn’t be this relaxed with his father. Yet here he was – clinging to his father and accepting the comfort he offered, crooning for more. Thane couldn’t understand it. Not for the first time, he wondered if he had made a mistake with regards to his feelings for Shepard.

“What are you doing here, Thane?” Jaeger asked quietly.

“I came here to see how Jarrid was doing,” Thane answered, losing the edge in his voice.

“Well you can see how he is doing. If you don’t mind, I would prefer to be alone with him right now,” Jaeger stated coldly. “I’ll speak with you more at a later time.”

For a moment Thane felt panic rush through him. He was certain that Shepard would ask him to leave the ship. He thought after Jacob’s mission that he was staying but his gut told him he was wrong in that assumption. It would be the first time he hadn’t finished a mission and that scared him. This would be the only time he’d been dismissed from a mission. That didn’t sit well with him. He was angry at himself for allowing his personal feelings to interfere with his attitude toward his employer.

Thane bowed to Shepard and left without a word. He made his way to life support, wondering what he should do. He didn’t want to be asked to leave, but could he really move past his concerns regarding Shepard’s treatment of his son? He sat at the table and tried to place himself into deep meditation, but his feelings were in turmoil and he couldn’t relax.

Thane ran his hand over his face, startling himself. That wasn’t something he usually did. It was something he saw Shepard do many times. He sighed, placing his face in his hands. The human was beginning to influence him more than he ever believed he could. He wasn’t sure what to make of it.

He gave up on meditation and paced his room. The thought of Shepard asking him to leave bothered him greatly. He knew it was his own fault for allowing his emotions to get in the way of his mission. He just didn’t know what to do about it.

He glanced over his shoulder when the door opened. He gasped, unsure what to expect. “Shepard?” he asked cautiously.

“We need to talk,” Jaeger stated, moving over to the window that overlooked engineering. “It seems you have a problem with me and I don’t blame you, but I can’t have a person working for me that doesn’t trust me. After our next mission I will drop you off wherever you wish.”

“What is the next mission?” Thane asked, trying not to concentrate on the fact that his greatest fear was coming true. He had failed a mission because he allowed his personal opinion of the commander to get in the way.

“Zaeed needs my help. After that we will drop you off. Do you have a destination that you would prefer?” Jaeger asked, turning to watch Thane closely.

“No, I don’t have any preference,” Thane murmured. He kept his body devoid of any emotion.

“So be it. We’ll be returning to Illium to do Miranda’s mission. You’ll be dropped off there,” Shepard said. He gave Thane one final glance before leaving him to his meditations.

Thane slumped in his chair. For the first time in his career, he had failed a contract. He had allowed his emotions to cloud his judgment of the commander. His thoughts flashed to Jarrid and he worried what would happen to the young drell when he was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 6**

Shepard stepped off the shuttle as soon as it touched down in the Normandy. Zaeed’s mission was hell, he had broken ever moral rule he had and it pissed him off, but he shoved that emotion deep down. He had allowed innocents to die. He couldn’t believe it; he remembered there screams, their fear and lastly the smell of burnt flesh later in the mission. Then to top it off he had allowed Zaeed to burn a man alive. He couldn’t believe how low he sunk.      

He didn’t bother going to his cabin, not with the amount of blood he was wearing. It was bad enough that Jarrid heard all about what happens during his mission. He went to his locker grabbing his stuff out of it. He didn’t bother glancing at the person that entered, nor did he bother with greetings. Instead he stuck his head under the spray of water allowing the warm water to loosen his muscles. He was Commander Jaeger Shepard, hero of the Citadel, he couldn’t let it be known that this mission bothered him. He needed to show that Jarrid’s sickness didn’t kill him inside. He had to be the pinnacle of strength when all he wanted to do was scream at the unfairness of all this. All he wanted to do was live in some city, spend the remaining of Jarrid’s days with him without worrying about what mission is next.

Thane wasn’t sure what to do. Shepard was using the crews shower instead of his own. He knew it was because of the blood that he was wearing. He didn’t want Jarrid to see it. He didn’t say a word as he stood under the spray in next stall to the Commander. This was the first time he had been alone with the Commander since he had notified him that he would no longer be part of the crew. He had asked the Commander to allow him on Zaeed’s mission. At first he thought Jaeger would deny him, but that hadn’t happened, the commander had gave a sharp nod and told him to be ready in an hour. It was a lot more than he had hoped for, or expected.

The mission hadn’t been what he expected. As the mission progressed he could see that the mission had taken its toll on Shepard. He flashed back to the horrified look on Shepard’s face when the innocents die, or when they allowed the man to burn to death to satisfy Zaeed’s need for revenge.

Thane glanced towards Shepard’s stall and could smell the despair off of the human. He knew without having to see that Shepard’s head was bowed in defeat. This was probably the only place he could show weakness other than his own room. Here no one could see him since each stall was closed off to the other.

Since seeing Jaeger with Jarrid in their room a few nights ago he had come to terms with himself. He had come to the conclusion that Jaeger hadn’t harmed his son intentionally but something else that he didn’t know of played in the affect. Something Garrus had said while in the mess had made up his mind. They had been eating lunch, Garrus and Jarrid had been talking quietly, but their conversation had turned to a dead woman that both seemed happy was dead. He knew it had something to do with Jarrid, and Jarrid being sick.

Thane snapped back to the present when he heard Jeager’s water turn off. He took a fortifying breath, “Commander,” he called tentively.

“Yes Thane?” He heard the commander answer. You would never know something was bothering the human. His voice was still firm without a hint of anger or despair.

“I wish to stay onboard the ship,” Thane murmured, trying not to give away his fear that he was going to be kicked off.

“Why?” Jaeger asked calmly. He finally had his emotions under control. He could do this conversation now, but a few moments ago, he wouldn’t have been able to. His emotions had been messed up, his worry for Jarrid eating at him.

“I have done a lot of wrong in my time, this is my only chance to do some good,” Thane told him, forcing back the trill of anxiety he felt.

“And you have no problem working for a human who has killed his son?” Jaeger asked bitterly. His shoulder’s stiffening as he awaited Thane’s answer.

“Killed your son? He’s not gone yet. I think there is a lot more to what happened to Jarrid than you’ve said,” Thane said and crooned softly, trying to ease Jaeger. “I don’t think you are at fault.”

“I should have been there! I shouldn’t have left him alone with that bitch. I shouldn’t have had her looking after him while I was away on missions,” Jaeger muttered running a hand down his face, he felt his commander composure slipping and fought to keep it. What little he was able to regain crumbled when he felt Thane’s scaled hand on his shoulder, his soft croon breaking through all his defenses.

“It’s not your fault!” Thane bit out. Now he knew for sure Jaeger wasn’t to blame. He had known, but didn’t want to believe. He had forced himself not to listen to the truth he had known.

“Isn’t it? I am his father, I am supposed to protect him, instead my job was more important,” Jaeger snarled as he rounded on Thane, slamming a fist into the stall wall. “My son is dying because my military career was more important!”

“And I allowed my son to live with my wife’s family, because I didn’t have what it took to raise a child!” Thane snapped back just as heatedly. “I am an assassin, it’s all I know, what I am good at. You are a soldier, it’s what you are good at, it’s what you are. You did what you thought was best for you and your son. At least you found a way to have a life with your son. You are not the only one who has made mistakes and wanted to change them.”

“You’re right. I can’t dwell on my mistakes, but make the best of what I have,” Jaeger murmured as he met Thane’s eyes. “So you have a son?”

“His name is Kolyat, he’s seventeen years old now, living with his aunt and uncle.” Thane answered softly. Jaeger hesitated when he saw the sadness in the drell’s eyes. He wanted to know more, but decided to leave it.

Jaeger nodded once out of respect to the drell and grabbed a towel wrapping it around his waist. He passed Thane a towel before heading to his locker. He smirked, he knew the drell was right behind him, could feel his movements but couldn’t hear him. “And Thane, to answer your question… you can stay onboard the ship.”

“How is Jarrid doing?” Thane asked quietly.

“I didn’t have any warnings when I boarded, so I am guessing that he’s fine,” Jaeger answered with a worried look. He fought not to ask EDI Jarrid’s status. He had to trust his crew, and he had to show that his crew had his trust. Quickly he dressed and about to leave, but Thane stopped him.

“I heard he had another attack last night. If Mordin needs more samples I’ll see him,” Thane offered. He couldn’t see Jarrid suffer if he could help him.

“If you want to, go talk to Mordin. I’ll be there shortly to see Jarrid,” Jaeger stated, before walking out the door. Thane stared at the door stunned. Jarrid had been in Mordin’s all night. That didn’t bode well, Thane made it a priority to see him right away. He dressed quickly, heading to the elevators.

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Thane walked into the lab. Mordin was standing at one of his consoles. Jarrid was lying in bed with his father sitting down beside him. He moved quietly towards them, uncertain of his welcome.

Jaeger glanced over his shoulder when he felt someone near. “I’ll leave the two of you alone for a bit. I have work to do,” He commented as he walked towards the door.

Jarrid watched his father leave and turned his attention back to Thane. “What happened between you and my dad? I thought the two of you were becoming friends,” Jarrid commented, watching Thane intently. He wasn’t about to tell Thane what he really thought, he didn’t think he would appreciate it.

“That is something your father and I have already discussed,” Thane murmured as he watched Jaeger walked out of the medbay.

“What I’m about to tell you my father doesn’t know. I think he’s figured it out, but…” Jarrid trailed off and watched Thane closely.

“My grandma hired a human female to look after me while my father went to school and on missions. While he was away she would turn the heat down, place the humidity to where she liked it. Dad didn’t know and I didn’t tell him. He had other things to worry about then what was happening in the house. So I kept silent. Now I’m paying for my silence,” Jarrid murmured a sad smile on his face. “By the time my father came home, the temperature would be normal, the apartment would be dry, we knew his timetable and he always called, to tell me when he would be home.” Jarrid smiled, remembering that time. He fought not to fall too deep in the memories so that he spoke them out loud.

“Why are telling me this?” Thane asked curiously, surprised that Jarrid trusted him with this information.

“Because, you are blaming my father, when he’s blameless for what happened to me. I know my father and I know he’s blaming himself already; he doesn’t need you to do so also. You’ve seen him with me; do you honestly think my father would put me in danger?” Jarrid asked quietly.

“I don’t blame your father, and as I said we have already spoken of it,” Thane repeated, forcing himself not to shake his head. It seemed Jarrid hadn’t picked up on Jaeger’s listening skills.

“So you and dad have already talked?” Jarrid asked his eyes wide and hopefully.  

Thane shook his head in exasperation and partial amusement. He decided to change the subject instead. “Jarrid, why were you brought here?” Thane asked, glancing around Mordin’s lab.

“I was coughing up blood this time. Mordin said the disease is advancing faster than normal and that it is because of stress,” Jarrid answered, his eyes clouding over as he watched Thane. “I won’t be a burden to my father. He has enough to deal with right now. People seem to think only my father can save every race from the Reapers, but they are wrong. He needs people he can trust, people he knows that will stand by him. He won’t win alone. With me sick, he can’t focus like he should, so I don’t say half of what’s going on. I won’t do that to him,” Jarrid murmured, trying to control his emotions.

Worry slithered though him at Jarrid words. He wasn’t sure what to do. He looked into the boy’s eyes and saw that he had given up, not accepted, but given up. “Jarrid, you can’t give up,” Thane stated urgently.

Jarrid stared at Thane for a moment and turned his head away. He closed his eyes waited to hear the sound of Thane’s steps moving away. He let out the breath he had been holding when he heard the almost silent steps leave the room.

Mordin had heard what the boy had said and worried. He ran a scan over Jarrid and shook his head. If he continued like this he wouldn’t see three months let alone a year. He knew the Jarrid was giving up, with stress he was placing himself and not taking care of himself properly his disease was worsening. He wasn’t sure what it would do to the Commander if his son died. He didn’t want to find out. Right now he placed the Collector data last and placed finding a cure first.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooooooo~

Jaeger sat at his computer with the monitor open. He had a link to Mordin’s lab so he could talk with his son while he worked. Once he was finished here he would be heading back down there. He was happy to see that his son had stopped coughing up blood. When he woke last night to see his son curled into fetal position and blood dribbling down his chin, he panicked.

“Commander, Thane Krios wishes entry,” EDI announced.

“Allow him entry and cut the link between Mordin’s lab and the loft,” Jaeger ordered. He watched as the screen flickered and shut down. He glanced over at the door and watched Thane walk in. “What can I do for you Thane?”

Thane stood there hesitantly, what he was about to say could put more stress on the Jaeger, but he knew the Commander would want to know. He met the man’s eyes as he sat there waiting calmly. “Jarrid told me how he contracted the disease, but there is more,” He started hesitantly. “You realize he’s giving up?”

“Yeah I know he’s giving up and I can’t force him to fight, but that doesn’t mean I am giving up,” Jaeger said passionately. The thought of losing his son hit him hard. He left his guard down for this drell for the second time. The first time hadn’t been willingly while in the showers, but this time he allowed the drell to see his pain. He wondered if he just made a mistake. He knew drells had no problems showing emotions to those they trusted, but Thane wasn’t raised like normal drells, he was raised as an assassin.

“Is there anything I can do?” Thane asked hesitantly, awed that Jaeger was showing him emotion. He didn’t count the shower, there hadn’t been willingly, but this was different. This was a show of the highest trust. Something he hadn’t expected, but he willingly accepted. He knew what this cost the human, a man that rarely showed that anything bothered him when there was so much on his shoulders.

“No.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. Right now I am at a lost how to get my son to fight.”

Thane walked over to Jaeger, lightly touching the Commander’s shoulder and crooned softly. He watched as a small smile tilted the man’s mouth and took comfort in that one gesture.

“Thane, how do you cope with dying?” Jaeger asked softly as Thane’s croons did its work, soothing him.

“It’s called battle sleep. I’ve accepted that I am dying and there is nothing I can do to change it,” Thane explained.

“I’ve read about battle sleep, but what I read is your race shuts down their emotions while going through this. I couldn’t do that, not with Jarrid in my life,” Jaeger murmured.

“Waking from it is shocking to the system,” Thane said, taking a step back. He had brought up something he didn’t want to speak of, but couldn’t back away now. He had started this, he wouldn’t back out of it now.

“What put you in your battle sleep?”

“My wife’s death. She woke me from it, when she died I went back into it, killing her murders,” Thane stated coldly.

“Yeah that would do it. I’m sorry to hear about your wife,” Jaeger murmured, turning towards the sitting area. He wasn’t sure what else to say without sounding anymore trite than he already did. He felt Thane following him, taking a seat on the chair as he sat on the couch. He glanced at the drell, his mind veering to thoughts he had before their falling out. Then he had starting thinking of the drell as more, but now… now it wasn’t appropriate, they were just on speaking terms, plus Thane wouldn’t welcome any emotions of that nature.

~ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo~

Thane lay on his bed, his mind flashing back to the image he had seen of Jaeger before dying. He remembered his reaction, his breath catching, those green eyes holding him captive for moments, but long enough to notice. All those reactions from an image on a view screen. He had denied it to himself, he had fought it as he worked with the man. And yet even when he was angry at the Commander, being in his presence had calmed him faster than his own meditations.

Now he lay on his bed unable to sleep, his mind filled with the Commander. What he hadn’t told Jaeger was yes he had been in a battle sleep, but was once more awakening from it. It hadn’t matter that he had been upset with the Commander, it was still happening. He didn’t know what it was about the human that was awaking him. He didn’t understand it and wasn’t sure if he could accept him.

Then there was Jarrid, he worried for the young drell. That drell scared him, he was giving up. His disease was progressing fast, and that was because the drell was determined to die. He had seen it happen with other drells, they would give up and die sooner than expected.

With a sigh he gave up on trying to sleep, his mind was too filled with thoughts and worries. Jaeger and Jarrid played a big part, but so did his son. Someone he hadn’t seen in ten years. He wondered if he should have raised his son and did the same thing Jaeger did; hire someone to help him raise his son. Would that have been better or worse? He would have never been around as it was… Maybe he should have allowed his son into the compact. Irikah hadn’t wanted it, but now she was gone and Kolyat had been young enough when she died.

He sat at his table with his back to the door. Since being onboard the ship this was something he often done, his back was often to the door. And yet, before here, his back was never to a door, he had never felt safe enough. Usually he faced all doors and windows, staying alert for any type of danger even when there was none near.

He heard his door open and knew without the person saying a word as to who it was. Only one person had this silent of steps – Jaeger. Kasumi was close, but not as quiet as Jaeger. “Thane, do you have a moment?”

“Of course,” he answered, he heard the urgency in Jaeger’s voice and new it was something important.

“Mordin wishes to see you for more tests, he thinks he might have found something,” the commander continued softly, he could hear the uncertainty in the human’s voice and wondered about it. He already said he would do whatever it took to help Jarrid and he would even if it meant his own life. Jarrid deserved a life, more so than he did.

He rose to his feet and looked up at the human. It was odd for him to be looking up at a human. There was no other human onboard as tall as Jaeger. From what Thane knew Jaeger was tall for a human, and large. He doubled him in size, and most of it was muscle. He still couldn’t believe such a large man could glide through a fight like Jaeger could. Most muscled bound humans used their brute strength, but not this one, for him it was a dance even when not fighting.

He walked with the Jaeger, watching as he gracefully moved through the halls. He wondered what type of training Jaeger had, he could see it had been extensive. But Jaeger never talked about his training or other missions he had been on, not like other humans on board who boasted of their deeds. A few had asked, but none had gotten an answer, not even Garrus.

“Ahh, good, Thane, need another sample, might have found something,” Mordin stated, and quickly took his sample. It stung as he stood there trying not to flinch as a needle entered his chest. He bit off the growl, but couldn’t hold back the hiss. Mordin ignored the sound as usual, but Jaeger looked at him worriedly.

“I’m fine,” Thane said, keeping his voice firm. He was surprised that Jaeger worried about him. He then glanced at Mordin to see the salarian looking at him quizzically. It seemed the scientist hadn’t seen what he saw on Jaeger’s face. That realization through him off, he didn’t know what to make of that.

He glanced around to see Jarrid sleeping soundly, his breathing coming easy. That was a relief to see; he had worried about the boy and was glad that he was doing better. He glanced at Jaeger and saw him watching him intently, then glance at his son. That one look, no heat to it, had done something to him. Something he hadn’t experienced since his wife. His body warmed and he had felt content for that moment.

                                                                               

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so updates for all of my stories are going to be very slow in coming. Three words that should explain it all. Dragon Age Inquisition. Yeah, I'm hooked for the time being. Haven't finished the game so far, so, once I am finished chapters should be coming more often. The only reason this chapter is out, is because it had already been written and needed some editing. 
> 
> Those who were reading this on FF before I was told to take down my stories will really notice a chance. From here on out the story will sort of be the same, but with a lot of differences. A lot of people asked me not to kill off this person, or such. This time around I am writing this the way I had planned. Some chapters will be very dark, while others not as much.

**Author's Note:**

> This was posted on Fanfiction. I debated about posting it here and finally decided I should. This story for the most part is very dark, but gets better after a time. Hope people enjoy.


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